Friday, December 23, 2011
Fucking zombs. Can’t even write in peace. Come running out of the bushes at me. Took care of him after a brief struggle. Surprised there was only one. Now I’m worried there are more. Also worried I’m going into another town of zombs. This is one of those times I want to yell again. The next zomb I kill I think I’m just going to hold up and yell at. Really curse it out.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Think I found a good path. Should lead to a small town. Hopefully. Had a dream of getting home last night. Or maybe I was just imagining it. Imagining it like it was. Being in my bed. Watching tv. Computer. Wow, it has been so long since I used a computer. Hard to believe I almost forgot they existed. All that technology gone to waste. A nice warm bath. Delicious dinner. Every day stuff that is so normal you take it for granted. I don’t think I will ever come to grips with what has happened. It is unreal. I mean,
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Maybe riding on a bike with bad wheels, and a hurt leg wasn’t such a great idea. Hard to peddle, and didn’t do my leg any good putting that kind of pressure on it. I wonder if my leg will ever be the same again. Did make it away from these homes. Found some signs but not sure where to go. Going to try to find them on the map. Need to get back to trying to go home.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Didn’t feel like writing. Tired of it. Decided to play tennis instead. Except without the racket. Couldn’t find one. Probably used it as a weapon. Spent days throwing tennis balls down the street, and at the surrounding houses. See if it would spark any zombies to come out. No luck. More like luck. One more time tomorrow. If no zombs, it is time to ride.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
They appear to be gone. Spotted some zombs walking through the street days ago. They were hungry. Looking for food. I’m looking for food. It’s almost unfair that they can eat us, but we can’t eat them. Maybe it’s a fair turn of events. We eat a lot of things that couldn’t eat us in return. The things you never think about. So I hid in the mess in the garage for days. Quiet. Don’t think they smelled or heard me. I think they were around the house. Never inside. Finally I crawled out to take a look. Not going anywhere even though I don’t see them. Wouldn’t be the first time they hid til I came out.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
I was thinking about a making a list of survival tips, but I see no point. If you are reading this, I’m most likely dead, or a zombie. You being alive means you have outlasted me. I just hope maybe there is something in here that you can use. Pass on my stories. Hopefully you are starting over by now, and the zombs are gone. The world won’t be able to move on until they are gone. Do I want to be a part of that world? I guess I do. That is why I continue this fight. But how will I know when the rebuilding process begins? It might have begun somewhere by now. I’m glad I’m not in charge of that mission. We are going to need real leaders. People who can really figure out how to put this puzzle back together.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Remembering Ethan. Going through what I’ve been through hurting my leg. Got me thinking. There is a mental aspect to surviving. There is a physical aspect to surviving. Both challenges. Mentally sometimes I think I’m losing my mind. I have to really think about what I’m doing. Where I am. What is going on. Sometimes I have to force myself to realize the world is different from what I was use to. Thinking about the past. Family. Friends. People I’ve met through my time on the run. The horrible sites. Having to kill. Journal you have been a help. Letting me release my feelings. My only friend. The physical. Dealing with hunger. Thirst. Not sleeping. Living in trees. Being hurt like I am now. Traveling on foot. Fighting off zombies. Running from zombies. Pain on both fronts. It is hard fighting to survive. And why? Why is the million dollar question. Not that there is any point to having a million dollars these days.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Standing in the streets looking at all the homes reminded me of when Ethan and I were looking for a place to stay. Walking through neighborhoods. Of course we learned our lesson and stopped doing that. The neighborhoods weren’t safe, but nowhere was. We couldn’t find a good place to stay, and eventually Ethan paid for it. We had little choice and took shelter in a school with a bunch of strangers. It was kind of like people had tribes. Each held up in their own classroom. Some were friendlier than others. Like others had done, we wandered in there and with some good luck, at that time, someone let us in their room. Allowed in the room yes. Allowed any of their food or other resources not really. Not unless you could trade for it. Again I didn’t think it was the best idea to be around so many people. Ethan knew it too, but we had little choice. I don’t remember how many days we were there before it happened. I don’t know where they came from. Was someone inside bit, or sick? Or did they come from the outside? Gunfire set off panic. Everyone in our room tried to keep the door closed, but it wouldn’t last. Once it opened people were coming and going. No one knew who was a zombie or not. More gun fire. Ethan and I were in the back of the room. We were runners but not this time. We kind of just braced ourselves with our backs covered by the wall. Finally the room emptied somewhat, and we had to decide to run or not. The decision was made for us when someone running through the hall fired a couple of shots into the room. I thought we ducked. At least I did. Ethan didn’t duck, he was shot. I
I really didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t prepared for any of this. I wasn’t prepared to help him. I wasn’t prepared to make a decision to save him, or save myself. When I looked over at him I couldn’t believe the pain on his face, or the blood that was coming out his chest. I thought hoped it was closer to his shoulder but no. He couldn’t say anything either. Just trying to breath. There was no one to help us. Everyone was still running around like crazy. I finally decided to try to carry him out. I picked him up, and grab his shoulder opposite the wound. I told him to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding. God I don’t even know where I expected to take him. A bullet wound at that time was the end of you. No hospitals to save you. I guess I just didn’t want to leave him, but I did. When I got to the doorway there was just too much going on. Almost as soon as we got in the hallway we were knocked over. More pain for him. Shock was setting in. I kneeled over just staring. I don’t think I will forget the look on his face. He knew. I knew. But neither of us could say it. I held his hand for a sec, closed my eyes, and let go for good. I know it was a struggle getting out of there for many of the obvious reasons, but don’t remember.
It was so hard to come to terms with what happened. I tried not to think about it. So much was happening, it kind of made it easier. He was just a friend. Someone I met in college. Not a best friend. Not a life long friend. But the short time we spent struggling to survive kind of bonded us. I probably wouldn’t even have made it off campus if it wasn’t for you. And I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I shed tears for you my friend.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Was looking at some women’s gossip and fashion magazines. Dated a long time ago. I remember some of those people. Wonder if you were famous did that give you a better chance at survival. Probably the money did. Rich bastards. Looking at some of the hot women back then. First time I have thought about women in that way for a long time. The only ones I usually see are dead or zombies. Looking through these magazines makes me remember how important they made things like looking good, dating, and having sex. Got through all of this mess and those things just don’t mean much anymore. Not going to save you from zombies.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Kept a close eye on the neighborhood. Been quiet since I got here so I took a look around. First house’s doors were still locked, but nothing like breaking a window. Sad. Locked cause people died in there. Bodies on floor. In seats. Dead a while I think. Don’t think they were the original owners. Not much left here either, but did score 2 guns with a few bullets. Next house was open. Empty. Completely. Moved onto next house. More bodies. This time dead zombies too! A fight took place here with no winners I guess. If they survived, they are long gone. Didn’t get into that house too much. I’m having a hard time moving around as it is, don’t want to fall on a zombie. Just stood in the street looking around for a while. Kind of imagining life here before zombies. Not sure what is near here, but looks like a nice place to stay if you like your neighbors. Kids could play in the street. Walk the dog. Homes not bad. Newer community. Shame all gone to waste.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Woman lived here. Young. Probably didn’t take much when she left, but people have been here since. As expected no food. Some clothes but nothing for me. Some dresses. No where to go in a dress these days. Always appreciate a bed. Something people won’t take with them. There is a bike in her storage room. Surprised no one used it. Tires flat. Looking for pump but so far no luck. Storage a mess so I just have to keep looking. Not even sure I can ride it with my leg hurting, but I will find some way I guess.
Made it to a series of homes. Abandoned from what I can tell. New occupant ME Hope I can stay here a while. I am going to check it out good. Make sure soldiers don’t have anything to do with these homes. Also keep an eye out for any possible neighbors. Dad was never a fan of neighbors. Usually hated when I made friends with them. Meant he had to be nice. As I got older, I realized more and more why he hated neighbors. Zombies would not make good neighbors.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
A road. Or path. Hopefully it leads somewhere. Anywhere there is shelter will do. I could really use some transportation. This is probably the longest I’ve traveled on foot. Or crawling. Limping. To think there was a time when people crossed the country on foot. Or horse back. Oh what I would do for a horse about now. Actually I might be tempted to eat him instead of ride him. Tough one. Ride him to shelter then eat him. Yea. I wonder what horse tastes like. Can’t be worse than some of the crap I’ve already had.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
I might as well be in the never ending desert. Instead of sand, just trees. Up and down hills. Grass. Trees. Another forest that never ends. And they were worried people were chopping down too many trees. I can’t remember his name, but there was this kid in high school that was absolutely obsessed with the environment. Save the trees. Save the fish. Dogs cats dolphins sharks ants snails flowers birds. Recycle. Donations. Boy was nuts. Wonder if he would save the zombies.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Hopefully I’m far enough. Slowed down. This has been hard. Should have never left the city. It was so much easier going from apartment to apartment. Never figured I would live in so many places. Never figured I would be homeless. Never figured I spend so much time in the woods. Surprised I haven’t seen any thing out here. No survivors. No zombies. So quiet. I’m the only living thing around.
Friday, September 30, 2011
I can’t believe we had to leave. I’m not sure where to go now. I knew those soldiers were up to no good. I’m getting rid of these papers. I don’t want to be caught with them. Going to experiment on us. Watch our behavior and turn us into zombies. Bullshit. No more soldiers. Not trusting them. If you read this, don’t trust them. They are changing people into zombies to learn about them. I wonder if that means the government is still functioning somewhere. Where ever they are, they are up to no good. The zombies under the house were for an experiment. They have several cabins in the area according to the papers. I knew that wasn’t a vacation house. I got to get out of these woods. What a mistake it was coming this way. Dragging leg along. I don’t care. It can’t heal fast enough.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Now I know where that room goes, and where not to step. It has been quiet down there. Taking no chances. Wonder what this cabin was for. Couldn’t be more than a vacation home. I couldn’t imagine anyone living here a long time. Makes me also wonder if there is a river or something nearby. Why else would you vacation here? Did the people down there die on vacation? That sucks
Friday, September 16, 2011
Old food. Use to it. Had to have something. I don’t know what everyone does for food. Most of it is old, even stuff that was supposed to last. It is killer on the stomach. And people complained about the grocery store. Arms feeling better. Leg still hurts. Zombie still there somewhere.
Fuck. I have a zombie living underneath me. I thought they were just dead people, but one of them actually moved. Curiosity got me looking through cracks again. Then surprised when one started moving. Didn’t move much. Light moaning. It looks like it is going to die. Again. Got to stay off floor just in case. Not a problem since can’t walk. So hungry though.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Final found shelter. Cabin
So glad I made it.
No one here. Expect dead bodies in a hidden room under floor
Probably hiding then died
Not opening the door unless have too
Saw them only cause crawling on floor.
They have a bed. Nice bed
Lock myself in. Not leavingHopefully I don’t end up like them.
I admit it would be nice to have a little help.
Even though I want to be alone.
No idea where I’m going.
Arms are killing me from all the crawling.
Like a baby.
Surprise I haven’t become a zombie snack yet.
It is so nerve wrecking knowing one may pop up at any second and there won’t be anything I can do about it.Hopefully my leg will heal before that happens.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
I’m hurt my friend My leg is killing me Scratched myself up good
Car stopped to charge again Went into woods
Heard gun shot
Was going to head back but stopped
Was it zombs or soldiers
They saved me so I should have gone back
Heard voices Voice of guy that shoved me against wall
No way I was going back I had no gun Jason said no
So I went the other direction
I wasn’t paying attention and took a fall off a hill
Crawled over behind some rocks
Sitting duck for zombs or soldiers
Think soldiers are gone
Don’t know what to do now
Leg is bad Sore all over No food Little wat
We are in trouble journ
Friday, August 26, 2011
Being in this truck provides some safety from the zombies. They aren’t going to get in it. No way. Unless we basically invite them in. But we have to stick to the roads and be out in the open. If Jason is worried his buddies are following, then we can’t be that hard to find. I’m not liking this. I told Cheryl, but she says Jason has it under control. Those two have survived this long together. I have survived alone. I just get these feelings when my time is up with people. Or I just sense the trouble coming. This hunk of junk better start moving. This waiting is driving me crazy. They also forgot to get food to take on this escape. Water might not be a problem cause it looks like rain is coming. But that means no sun. Great! Time to go take a bath, and drink up.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
This piece of government technology obviously needed some work. It will only last so long. We travel, and then it shuts down to recharge. If it doesn’t get direct sunlight, it takes forever to charge. It is like running out of gas ever once in a while. Making Jason nervous every time it stops. I believe he thinks his friends, or ex friends will come after us. Maybe he pissed them off. I really don’t want to stick around for another reunion. Nor am I going back to be with those assholes. If I can get a clue where in the hell we are, it might be time to thank them and move on.
It all happened so quick. Unexpectedly. I can’t get into the specifics it was so crazy. I had no plan so it is a good thing someone did. It was the middle of the night. Cheryl woke me. Pulled me right off the floor. Like a fire drill. Made sure I didn’t say anything, and off we went. The soldiers were gone. Still don’t know where. We ended up outside and there was this guy. I now know him as Jason. We followed him around the building, and into this truck. Not as big as the one they saved us in. It didn’t take long after he turned it on for the soldiers to open fire. I was in the back. I just know we got away. It was a rough ride. We are now out on some roads leading away from the city. Still looks like a war zone. Apparently these trucks that they have been using are solar powered. No gas. No electricity. I checked it out. It has some weird panels on the top. Jason said they were specially made vehicles for the military. That was great to find out. They never made a honest effort to get people to switch to more efficient cars, but all along the government had there own. Damn gas companies. Robbing us. Always talk about oil running out, but it never seemed to happen. At least the zombies put them out of business. So Cheryl really did see someone the day she took off running. It was Jason. They have a history from what I can tell. She has no problem talking to him. Now she won’t shut up. He is military, but also a local. That is why he never left, and was with Cheryl’s group in the tunnels. That is who she was looking for. He got us out of there. Now Cheryl has saved me twice, and Jason once. Not sure what the next move is, but Jason says we have to keep moving as much as possible. He knows something. Cheryl might know it too. I just have to follow along for now.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Nightmares. This time I think I traveled through history. Roman soldiers fighting off zombies. Zombies making a zombie statue out in the desert. After that, maybe some knights at one of those tournaments. One knight knocked over another. He thought he won, but then the other one got up, took off his helmet, and revealed he was a zombie. People ran for it. Then I think I fast forward to the civil war. Zombie soldiers everywhere. Then one of the World Wars. At a burial, they were burying a soldier in a mass graveyard of soldiers when hands, and heads started popping out of the ground. People took off. My mind is crazy. Like I just read a history book. I hate history but there is always a lesson to learn. A shame that our history now includes zombies, and our history might be over. I need to get soldiers off my mind. Zombies too
Asshole soldiers. All I wanted to do is take another shower. I’m so bored out of my mind I just wanted to be refreshed. They said no and maybe I mouthed off at them. No reason they had to get physical. I was surprised to see Cheryl actually say something. In my defense too! Prisoners I tell you. I wish they would let us out of this area so that I could find a way out. We are really accomplishing little, and I can’t imagine they are accomplishing much either. Bastards!
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Soldiers don’t talk. Cheryl don’t talk. Everyone is on their own. This is ridiculous. I demanded to know something. For them to let us know what they are going go to do. Let us go or what. Nothing. Just told to shut up and sit down. I have been sitting for days. My ass hurts. There is just no winning in this world. People have gone nuts. I don’t think anyone knows what to do. Whatever these soldiers are doing, planning is probably something crazy. Stupid. Useless. Not going to change anything. The only plan that is working is the zombie plan. Eat and kill anyone not a zombie. Maybe their plan works because nothing divides them. They just all get together and attack. Just attack. There is Cheryl, the soldiers, and me. All wanting to survive, and instead of working together, we are all in our separate corners. Each with our own plan. This is stupid. It is just going to get someone killed. I keep saying it, but never stick to it. I’m better off alone. Make my own decision. And if I die, then I die because of my choices. Not because of soldiers with some fantasy plan. Not because Cheryl is too mad to care. Me.
What ever happened to freedom? That is what this country was built on. Then zombies take over, and everyone wants to be in charge. Take away your freedom, and tell you what to do. Just because they have a gun, and a fantasy of how they are going to save the world. Its not happening. One person is not going to make this all go away. The only way to win is to work together, and that never happens. All of us with the same goal but different way of getting there. This isn’t politics, this is life. Survival. Survival of each individual. Survival of the human race. You are not going to be President if you defeat the zombies. Nor King. And who would be stupid enough to want the job of cleaning up this mess? Or maybe they are that stupid.
I wonder what kind of host Cheryl was before. If she was the same person she is now. She’s rough. Doesn’t open up. Hates questions. I can’t imagine people coming over her house for a party. We have been in this room together most of the time since we got here and nothing. She won’t even talk about other random stuff. Just has a mean look on her face. At least in the tunnel I could barely see her most of the time, so I would just pretend she wasn’t there. Not like she was. Always off looking for whatever. You would think we were married and got divorced because I cheated on her. Or killed someone in her family. Is this what it is like in prison? Sharing a cell with someone who doesn’t like you. Doesn’t want to talk to you. Can’t wait to get out. I give up. I still have you journal. You are the best company I have had in a while. I can always count on you.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
I don’t know what is going on, but the soldiers are starting to act strange. Stranger. My trust level is dropping. They are definitely hiding something. Not sure if Cheryl knows something. She is also keeping an eye on them. I don’t know what the plan is, and she doesn’t say much. I mean, what are we waiting for? If the soldiers are working on something, then just let us go. Maybe drop us off somewhere that we can escape. I’m sure they know somewhere that there are less zombies. We have just been sitting in this one area for days. The shower was nice, and having something to eat is always a bonus, but really. Are we just going to sit here forever?
W A T E R W A T E R W A T E RNice to have some running water. Took a nice shower. No it wasn’t hot. Maybe not totally clean. And the pressure was lacking. But at this point, I can’t complain. Better than the river. Haven’t cut my hair in so long. It is all in knots. Itches all the time. They let me borrow a knife. Small one. No trust. Took me a while, but I was able to cut some of this hair off. Beard too. That was much harder to do without slicing myself up. I actually got to see myself in the mirror. Glad to see I’m still really here. No one would recognize me like this. I barely recognize myself. Even after cutting my hair. I stared at myself for a while. I don’t know when or if I will ever get the chance to do it again. Just stared. Did some thinking. Remembered. Home. Family. Wonder if I made it back and they saw me would they recognize me? Would I recognize them? Thought about looking in the mirror as a kid. An innocent boy. Like to think I was innocent. Maybe mom or dad would think differently. Anyway. Then definitely not so innocent teen. Remembered looks were important then. Had to look good for the girls. I would have more of a chance with a zombie than a normal girl looking like this. Thought the teen years were pretty hard. Never thought I would wish I could go back to that time. Nothing is harder than this. Not even college. Had to look even better back then. Unless you just wanted the drunk girls. In that case, maybe I just need a drunk girl now. Super drunk. Then I thought about the present. Is this all worth it? Why am I here? Why am I not a zombie? Should I just become one and get it over with? Sometimes it feels like that but it would be the easy way out. I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I guess I should just be lucky there is a tomorrow.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
After several days with these guys, they finally have gained trust in us. More like we told them everything we knew, they slept on it, and then they decided to share some stuff with us. It was more of what Cheryl could tell them since she has lived her through this mess. What they told us was that they were a select group of soldiers/scientists that were picked to stay behind in case an emergency situation occurred. When the zombies broke out, they went into a specially made hiding place which we are currently in. After some time passed, they were to carefully exit, and observe the aftermath. I have been thinking about what they said for hours now, and it is one crazy plan. Was it that they weren’t confident they could hold all those zombies here, or in what they were doing? Or did they sacrifice their own soldiers, and citizens to see what the zombies could do to a town? I wouldn’t put it past them. Apparently they lost contact with their superiors, and have decided to stay put. They have had enough supplies left from what they had stored for this mission, and what was left behind in the quick exit. Not sure on how long they have been here, or how long it has been since they lost contact. They said they were out observing again when they came across us, which makes me think they might be lying and still have contact with someone. Or they could be loyal soldiers continuing their mission until told otherwise? I don’t know. I never trusted the government. The government is their boss. So I don’t think I trust them.
Cheryl just ran for it. We were waiting, waiting, waiting, and then she took off. She said that she saw someone, and is why she ran. Even after hearing her reasoning, I am still confused. How did she make a normal person among all those zombies I will never know? Still don’t think she even knows. After she ran, the zombies ran right after her before I could move. I don’t remember thinking about it at the time, but now that I am, if I wanted to leave her that was the moment. I probably could have gone the other way and neither the zombs or her would have known. But that isn’t what happened. I got out and chased her. No, actually I was chasing the zombies that were chasing her. I’m not sure, but that might be the first time I ever chased zombies. While not in a car. Funny. Me chasing zombies. And they didn’t even know it. Then some started chasing me from out of nowhere. So it was Cheryl running after who knows what. Zombies chasing her. Me chasing her but in the process really chasing zombies. And then zombs chasing me. I didn’t know Cheryl could run so fast. I lost site of her. I guess I was really chasing the zombs then. Anyway, eventually the zombs stopped and realized I was behind them. I stopped and saw the ones behind me coming up quick. I thought that was the end once again. I didn’t notice how many of them there were. I had a few bullets but it wasn’t going to be enough. Just as I was looking for a direction to run, this big truck I was standing by turned on. It was so big that I can’t believe I missed it, but my focus was on the zombs. It pulled forward, a door opened, and an arm pulled me up and inside. Amazing really. I should be dead. Definitely would be dead if that truck doesn’t turn on. It took off. Think it hit some of the zombs too. When I got seated, there was Cheryl. I suppose it was one of these guys she saw, but I am still not sure. She didn’t describe them as any of these guys. Apparently not all the military left. In typical military style, they haven’t told us much. Been locked up. Not in a jail though. Just in a room. From the dark tunnels to this room, Cheryl and I have gotten to spend more time together. The guys have learned what a pleasure she is to talk to. As long as they don’t make me a slave, I will deal with it. This room is better than the tunnel, or on those streets.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
She was right. Zombies are down here. Hopefully make that were down here. She killed some yesterday. It is so quiet down here that we easily heard them coming. They probably picked up our smell. Maybe followed her smell from the other day. It was scary knowing they were coming, and it was so dark in here. Cheryl knew what to do though. Probably did this before. She took care of them. That is why I chose to stay with her. After that, we moved as quickly as we could through the tunnel. I can see she is very frustrated now. And worried. No matter how hard she tries to remain tough. If we run into any more, I think it might be time to return to the land of the dead.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
I can’t believe it. She just informed me that zombies could be in these tunnels. Not only that, but we are coming up to an area that she is not as familiar with. After she said that I demanded to know what the hell is going on. Yes, I finally stood up to her. Thought she was going to shoot me for a second, but then she told me. Apparently she was looking for the only other survivor of the group of people that went underground. She heard my gunshots in the store and thought I was him, and that is why she came to the surface. I didn’t realize how lucky I was to survive that whole incident. Or maybe not if I die in these tunnels. She said he was heading back through tunnels that led to the military base. When she said that, I couldn’t understand why he would want to go back there. Well he was going back for food. They ran out, and had already cleaned out most of the stores they could safely get to. He was a military guy, and knew there was still some food left on the base. Cheryl has been doing her best to find the way he went, but she is actually getting lost now. She said she found a few doors to the surface open, and isn’t sure why they would be open. There was one in particular that had some dead bodies, and lots of blood. She thinks zombies might have come through there. She closed off the area we are in now, but can’t guarantee that we are safe. I think she is more worried about finding him, but she is trying to make me think it is the food. We ran out of food not long after she found me. That is nothing. I have gotten use to going longer so I’m ok for now. I think she is ok too. Just worried. And now I am too. Probably not going to sleep much. She said there is a tunnel that I am free to go through. She is not sure how safe it is, but she doesn’t want me to hold me against my will. Her battle, her search, her problem. She saved me, so I feel I owe her something. Plus after what happened before, I am not going up there alone.
Being in the woods alone- scary
Being in a building alone-scary
Being chased by zombies- scary
Being under a zombie trying to bite into me- scary
Being in a dark mostly silent tunnel- definitely scaryEspecially with Cheryl. Bad joke. But seriously this is freaky. It is so dark in here and I have no idea where we are going. Sometimes I am not even sure I am still here. I have to touch my face to make sure. When I talk to Cheryl in the dark, sometimes I feel like it is the voice inside my head that is talking to her and I’m not really here. Always happy when we come up on these openings where light comes in. Always hurts my eyes at first. I am sitting under one now. Cheryl went ahead like she usually does. As long as she leaves me under a light I’m ok. I do have to say it is a good place to sleep. Although there are strange noises sometimes. Pipes making sounds. I guess some things are still working. Oh and it does smell really bad in some places. But I think I’m use to bad smells already. Not much smells worse than death.
Friday, July 1, 2011
After going ahead and sharing some of my stories with her, even though I’m not sure she cared, she finally told me the story of what is going on. It was obvious the military was involved and she confirmed it. Apparently the military had this area under control for a while. The military told people in the area that if they weren’t going leave, they had to stay in their homes. Lock down. She said that was fine with her because she wasn’t going to leave her home for nothing. She toughed out hurricanes, tornados, and floods, and she wasn’t going to let zombies run her out of town. The military was doing a good job controlling the zombies. She said she would see them out of her windows patrolling the streets. All the zombies were gone. Then she realized they were doing something she couldn’t believe. Instead of killing them, they were holding some of them. She saw them actually busing in zombs in trucks. Not surprising to me. As she said that, I was hoping they found a cure, but quickly realized that didn’t happen cause I’m sitting in an underground tunnel listening to a stranger. Her family knew that was a bad idea, and they strongly considered leaving at that point. She doesn’t know what happened, but someone screwed up and the zombies took over. She has no idea what specifically happened, and really didn’t say except that she heard several theories from people since. A battle ensued, and the military soon enough bailed. People were left to fend for themselves. She seemed proud of the way the people fought, but it was too much and people weren’t ready for that. Then she kind of fast forwarded the story and said she ended up with some people, one of which was familiar with the underground tunnels. That is where they have been hiding ever since. She went out of her way not to mention what happened to her family, but you know, she doesn’t have to. I get it. I know. It happened to us all. When I noticed that, I didn’t want to push it. She finished up, and I just kind of went onto what do we do now. She seemed to have a plan, but wasn’t sharing. That was enough sharing for the day I guess.
I dreamt of the family last night. Everything was fine. We all sat down for a normal dinner. Talked about our day. Mom served dinner as usual. About half way through dad passed out. Then Violet’s head hit the table as well. I couldn’t figure out what was happening. I asked mom, but she had a blank look on her face. That was until a large smile took over as she went from mom to zombie mom. I don’t understand why time after time my dreams of mom always turn into her being a zombie. I don’t think I have had one normal dream of her in who knows how long. After she turned, she stood up and began to laugh. I tried to get up, but for some reason couldn’t. Then Violet and dad raised their heads and they were now zombies. They went and stood next to mom, and they were all laughing at me. Mom then said I would soon join them. I think I passed out and that was when I woke up. Weird feeling. I didn’t know whether I was still dreaming or not. I actually dared to write this as Cheryl looks on. She is giving me the look of death, but hasn’t said anything which is surprising. I am going to stop now just to avoid any more problems. Let’s see what she says.
Friday, June 24, 2011
So we moved to another location. Apparently there are a bunch of underground tunnels. Safer travels. Still won’t tell me much. Just orders me to follow her, or sit down and shut up. I guess I am taking all the shit cause I don’t know my way out of here. No clue where I am. Last time I was outside the zombies were too many to handle. Hopefully she is leading me to a good place to get out of here.
I can’t write when she is around. Too much complaining. I guess she wants my help, but when I try to help, she says she doesn’t need it. Not sure what to do. Like now, she said she was going to go get some food. I asked to come along, but she said no. To stay put. Ok. But if she were to walk in right now, she would yell at me for writing. Oh well. Wonder where she keeps going. She leaves, and comes back with weapons. Leaves and comes back with food. She probably doesn’t trust me yet. I can understand that. Maybe if she would just give me some clue to what is going on. I am really interested in knowing how she has survived to this point. Obviously she has some kind of routine. I am just a spectator at this point.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Cheryl. That’s her name. Feisty Cheryl. Asking what I’m doing writing in this stupid book. I told her it is not like I have anything better to do. She was like “how about surviving.” Also mentioned maybe she wouldn’t have had to save my ass. Lesson 1, don’t talk back to Cheryl. Lesson 2, don’t ask her questions. Of course I wanted to know more about her. How she got here, how she has survived, and stuff like that. I’ll just say her overall answer was “no comment” and that’s putting it nicely. Maybe I
Yesterday was almost the end of me. Got stuck in a drugstore. I was looking for stuff when in came several zombies, who were apparently also shopping, but for me. While my attention was on them, I didn’t notice the ones that were already in the store. I think I let them out without noticing. I keep thinking about it, and I am just not sure where they came from. If it wasn’t for them knocking into shit coming at me, I probably wouldn’t have known they were there. It was crazy running from aisle to aisle trying to lose them. At one point they finally trapped me in an aisle, and I had to climb the shelves to escape. It turned out helping me escape because it gave me a chance to see just how many of them there were, and the best way to make it to the exit. I really didn’t want to use the rest of my bullets unless it was necessary. I had to shoot the first couple that took me by surprise, but that was all I could afford to use. I had just enough in me to make the jump to another aisle, and then make the dash to the exit. I turned my ankle when I jumped down, but there was no time for pain. I got out just in time because more zombies were coming in the direction of the store. That would have made it too many of them in to handle in one store. But it also meant the chase had just begun. Run, run, run. That was when I was saved. I came around a corner, and there was a woman standing right there. She told me to go into this door, and I didn’t even think twice. As I entered it, I heard the gunfire she unleashed on them. Before I could catch my breath, she came inside, and led me into this basement. Well secured place. Didn’t hear anything from another zombie at that point. Of course I thanked her. I am not sure if she is happy to see me, but for now I am happy she was there. She told me to relax, which I am gladly doing. She has been busy doing stuff all morning. I look forward to finding out what her story is.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Feels like all the zombies know I’m here. Like some announcement was made. “Attention all zombies, Max has entered the city. It’s feeding time!” Ridiculous. There has to be a good to place to hide around here. If it weren’t for those weapons I found, I don’t think I would have made it this far. Almost used up everything. I really was hoping to enjoy being back in a city, but the woods aren’t looking so bad right about now.
Been on the run for days. Zombies wasted little time trying to get me. They were hungry. Killed them, and more picked up the trail. That sign was for real. The closer I get the more zombies there are. I can see buildings, and a big problem, more zombs in between me and the buildings. Can’t turn back now. I just have to find a good time to make my move. There has to be somewhere safe to hide over there. A car that works. Something. Mississippi might turn out to be as much fun as Arkansas.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Damn! Woke up, looked outside, and zombies are circling the building. Maybe they picked up my scent. They haven’t attacked yet so I’m trying just to hold out hope they go away again. If not, it looks like I am going to put these weapons to use. Going to look
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Good news bad news day. Good news found myself some weapons. Bad news I’m going to need them. There are zombies. Saw them from the tree I am currently hiding in. Not sure what they are doing. Just roaming around. Not sure if they are looking for me, maybe something else. Nothing else better to do. What a boring life the zombie has. When not chasing food, they just stand around. I guess that keeps their stress down unless they are hungry. Oh well, I am going to watch them for a while before deciding what to do.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Learning from experiences like the ones Ethan and I went through have helped get me get this far. I just might need more than those experiences now. The further I travel the worse this area looks. There might be nothing much left. Looks like a bomb went off. These people definitely fought. I wonder why there were so many zombies. Sometimes some areas just seemed to have a lot of them, and others didn’t seem to have too many. I have started to see military vehicles. Maybe that has something to do with it. Still can’t believe the military couldn’t stop some stupid zombies. I mean, it’s not like the zombies worked together. Had an attack strategy. No weapons. We won several wars. Defeated enemies all over the world. Then we were defeated by zombs. I guess that doesn’t say much for the enemies we beat. And we spent so much money on the military and we couldn’t stop zombies. What a waste!
All this mess reminds me of the chaos when Ethan and I left the Bradley house. After the car crash, we bounced around the streets looking for safety. Every time we thought we found a place to rest and hide, crazy shit started happening. It was so confusing. Not knowing what was happening. How people were changing. It seemed like it started so fast. All of the sudden. I thought people were going nuts, but Ethan was sure it was zombies. He liked horror movies more than I did. He kept saying this was the zombie zombie apocalypse. I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. This wasn’t a movie. There were times I thought he was going nuts too. But there was little time for debate. People would gather. Wait. Then someone would turn. Then it was like a gun went off to start a marathon. People would scatter. Both of us took turns almost getting hit by cars. Shot by gunfire. Trampled by the crowds. I remember coming up on a police station. About 2 dozen policemen were out front ushering people inside. It was too many people rushing into a tight spot so Ethan and I figured it was better not to follow. While they ran to the police station, we found another place to hide. We went into a nearby building and waited to see what was going to happen. Ethan rested, but I had to see what was happening. The police were trying to do the right thing. They didn’t know any better. At that time, not many people knew any better. People ran inside. The police protected the streets. Then they needed protection when the people came flying out of there. Policemen got run over. I could swear one or two of them actually started shooting innocent people. Innocent from what I could tell. Their plan failed and the cops were now on their own. Once the people escaped, Ethan and I knew it was time to move on because they would soon be coming into the surrounding buildings. Into the streets. Fighting through people. It was hard to stop anywhere for long. Soon cars couldn’t get through the mess, and everyone was on foot. Forget bicycles. People would just knock you down, take it, and then get knocked down only to have someone else take it. Motorcycles weren’t a bad idea, but you couldn’t stop. People got desperate real fast, and most didn’t know what was going on. So much for staying in your homes. Ethan and I made it out of the city and more into the surrounding neighborhoods. How we did it, I don’t know! It was a little calmer there because these people actually stayed in their homes. Most people wouldn’t even think about opening their door. We walked down the streets along with others that had nowhere to go. More close calls. While we stayed in the middle of the street, some got too close to the wrong homes. Step into the wrong yard, and get your head blown off. Would always scare me to death when that gunfire would go off all the sudden. People just wanted help, but others wanted no part of what was going on. Then there were the few that wanted to help. Invite you right into their home. That was one thing we disagreed on. I wasn’t to keen on going into these homes, but Ethan always wanted to stop and rest. Lazy I tell you. Again, I don’t know how we made it that far. Ethan took advantage of the homes, and rested. He was good at talking the people into giving us food, and drinks, even if they barely had any. Convinced them this was temporary, and the government would restore order soon enough. When he was done resting, we thanked them, and moved on. Mostly to make me happy. Every home we stopped in, I just had flashbacks of the Bradley house. I told Ethan that would happen again, and I was right. I think it was the third house we stopped at. Everyone was ready for bed when there was a bang in the backyard. We were laying down in the living room. Ethan, and I sat up, and I still remember giving him that look. I knew it. The lady of the house turned on the light and there was someone standing by the fence. The woman almost had a heart attack. Her husband looked closer, and said it was the neighbor’s son. He opened the door and called for him. Nothing happened. Ethan, and I already were up, and making sure we had a clear path to the door. I yelled for him to close the door. Opps, that boy spun around, and made a dash for the door. The husband froze, but at the last second closed the sliding glass door. Yea, that didn’t matter. He went right through it, and we were gone. I could here the woman calling for help, but that wasn’t us. We wasted no time in running away. Far away. I told Ethan, no more homes. We would have to come up with a better plan than that.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
So it looks like that sign was right. The closer I get, the more signs of a battle with zombies took place. Dried up blood everywhere. Better than fresh blood. Bodies. Parts of them. Bullet shells. Finally found some cars. Too bad they are useless. Nasty crashes into trees. Into each other. People died in them. One looked like it was used as a battering ram. Blood all over the front. Skin. Pieces of bone. All stuck in the front grill. In the rims. Tires flat. Part of a body under one of the tires. Pinned down for who knows how long. Whatever battle took place happened a while ago. It is clear people were running from them, and the zombies were giving chase. Maybe this means I will walk into an empty town. That would be ideal.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Wow I just wrote 2022. Is it really 2022? Is there anyone still counting the days? Does anyone really know what day it is? When this is all over, who will decide what day, and year it is? Maybe there is a safe place out there somewhere keeping track of this kind of thing. Did it take no I guess it didn’t. I was checking to see when I got to Arkansas. It felt like it took a year to get through it, but it didn’t. Maybe. Wish I hadn’t done that. I just saw the names of my fallen friends. God, I miss those kids. Such a sign of hope that was just ripped away. I hope their fortunes changed, and made it wherever they decided to go. They didn’t
After walking and walking finally signs of civilization. Civilization probably not, but a city yes. As usual, it isn’t that easy though. I found a sign that says there is a city only a few miles ahead. I also found another sign that read, “Beware of Zomb.” They didn’t live long enough to finish the sign. Actually there are some bones not too far up the road. Maybe that’s them. They should have been running. Kind of makes me think I should do more paying attention and less writing sometimes. Oh well, if I got to go, why not go out with you journal.
They say history often repeats itself so I hope that isn’t the case now. A sign tells me the river is close. I get there, and there are zombies waiting for me. Now I see a sign that there is a city close by. Are there zombies waiting for me? This time there is a warning sign, and the lessons history might be trying to teach me. I took on that river to get here. There really is no stopping now. Sorry history. I haven’t learned.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Land lover for sure. I had dreams that I was on that boat, and it never stopped. Just kept going. Fighting the waves. Bouncing me all around. I think I woke up seasick. After effects of the ride, maybe. On top of that, the zombies were standing along the shore laughing at me. Mom included. Guess they weren’t happy about me laughing when they jumped into the water and drowned trying to get to me. Now to figure out where I have landed. Hopefully near a city. A change of scenery.
Against better judgment, I pushed the boat away from shore and into the water. One of those impulse things after sitting and debating it. Almost like I was trying to prove to myself that I could do this. And I did it. Some how. Some way. Honestly, scared shitless. I couldn’t control the boat. It took seconds before the boat and river went to battle with me along for the ride. Spinning around, bouncing off waves. I missed half of it with my eyes closed, and head down. Holding on for dear life. Worse than any roller coaster I have ever been on. It finally stopped when the river hit a calm spot. With the boat in coasting mode, I kind of willed the boat over to the other side. Jumped off that thing like it was on fire. Pushed it back in the water and said “Good Riddance!”
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Boat it is. Found a small one washed onshore. I think I can get it loose, and back into the water. Checked it out and doesn’t appear to have holes. I will probably find out pretty quickly. Not counting on the motor working. No paddles so I’m not sure how I’m going to control this thing. I am going to look for some sticks that might serve as a paddle. Sort of. I don’t know. Writing this has me rethinking this idea. Must thi
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Following the river, I can’t seem to find a good spot to cross. I must be in a bad place. It is too far to swim. Good swimmer or not, I don’t have the strength to put up that kind of fight. It was hard enough holding onto that log, and the water is freezing. I need a boat. Bridge would be nice. How did people cross this thing?
Journal, nice to have you back. Miss me? Of course you did. It didn’t go exactly as planned, but still worked. I made it to the river. No zombies in sight. At least for a brief moment. Then some came running out at me. If I had seen zombies, my original plan was to hide my stuff, and then make a run for the river. Jump in and grab a hold of something. Then hope the stupid zombies would jump in after me, and get taken down river. I let my guard down. I was looking at the river to figure out what to do then out of the forest they came. No time to hide anything. I dropped my stuff, and it was time to get wet. Wow that water was rougher than I thought. Good thing I am a good swimmer. I caught a hold of this log that was stuck. Then I started yelling at the zombies. I didn’t realize it but some of them had already jumped in. It was a little scary because some quickly disappeared. I didn’t know if they would pop up, or maybe one would actually be able to swim. The river brought one of them close to me, but luckily it was too much for it. They all went under, or down stream. Now that they are gone, I need to decide how I am going to cross this thing. Good swimmer or not, it is too rough to make it across. Plus I want you to make it safely across too. Can’t wait to write about getting out of Arkansas.
Friday, April 29, 2011
It was me or the zombies and the zombies won. Tired of waiting, I have carefully moved away from the river, and back into the woods. I should be moving parallel to the river. A little further and I will head back to the river. Hopefully my friends won’t be there. If they are, I think I have a plan that might work. Sorry journal, if this goes wrong, I might not see you again. I will miss you friend. If you find this, please hold onto it. It maybe the only thing left that proves I exist. Or existed.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Zombies don’t now what they are doing. They are just going in circles. Along the river. Around the trees. So far they have no clue I’m here. Obviously not like the hunter zombies I barely escaped from. Why don’t they just move along? They are going to force me to move.
More laughter at the expense of zombies. Actually I had to hold the laughter in. Just as I was ready to put the journal away I noticed this one zombie walking on some rocks by the side of the water. One of his friends should have told him that was not a good idea. Some of them are clumsier than others, and this was a clumsy one. First it took a nasty fall. Had a hard time getting back up. Apparently with the fall, it lost track of where it was going, or what it was doing. It stumbled over some other rocks, and took another spill. It laid there for a minute then rolled the wrong way. Right into the river. Washed away. Zombies zombies zombies so deadly but sometimes so stupid.
The sweet sound of a river ruined by the sight of zombies. Are they thirsty? Surely they need a bath. Based on my previous experiment, I am still under the assumption they can’t swim. I can’t believe this. I was ready to celebrate finding the river, now what. Hiding in a tree. Think I will watch them from a distance to see where they are going. Hopefully they don’t smell, or see me. Can’t believe this!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
A few miles apparently equal several days for my slow ass to walk there. Little food, and no sleep make it hard. Desperately want to get out of here. These zombie dreams have me on edge. I keep thinking they are popping up around me. I started running from nothing the other day. Spooked by a branch that fell. Ridiculous I know. Miss a lot of things, but right now really missing the city. Head hurts. No more writing
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Mississippi! At least the river anyway. I can’t believe I finally found a damn sign. Apparently I am only miles away. Maybe I will be able to figure out where I am. According to my map, that means I am almost out of Arkansas. I could scream, but don’t want to draw any attention to myself. So consider this my SCREAM! Hopefully the next state will treat me better. Sleep time. Motivated to move forward now.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The zombie nightmares have returned! They failed at hunting me down, so now they won’t let me sleep again. Reliving the events from the other day. This time the zombies excelled at climbing trees. Like zombie monkeys. There was nowhere to hide. They were falling from the trees. I would be running and have to dodge the zombies that would fall in front of me. Finally they had me trapped. Instead of eating me, they decided to hang me. Guess I was thinking about the one that hung on the tree. When I woke up I had a hard time catching my breath. Almost like I was under water. Scary. Had to shake that off, and get moving. I think I covered more ground today than I have in a while. However, I must be going in circles cause I am getting nowhere fast. I can’t wait to get out of this forest.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
I assumed zombies were stupid. Just driven by their hunger. But I could swear these zombies were hunting me. They seemed to be pushing me in a certain direction. They usually just charge at you, but these zombies were taking their time. Making sure I knew they were there. I thought I was ok because there were only three of them, but to my surprise, and almost my death, they led me to a fourth zombie. They had me trapped. They directed me into this tight patch of trees, and down a small hill. Pretty much a dead end. Apparently it was a dead end for some. There was blood all over the ground. Blood on the rocks that blocked any exit, and some on the side of trees. The fourth zombie was just there waiting for me. Hiding until I had made it all the way down. I couldn’t go around him anyway because of the huge rocks. No way I could scale them. The other three closed quickly in on me so that I couldn’t turn and run. As I looked up at them, I remember thinking that maybe saying my goodbyes was a bad idea. Made it was easy to kill me now that I made my peace. My first instinct as always is to run, but this time they were ready for that. The only place to go was back up through the 3 of them. I had 2 sticks with me, but I knew that wasn’t going to last. I reached down and picked up a rock. As soon as I moved the fourth one came at me. Now that I think about it, I think he wanted to scare me back into the other three. Good thing I didn’t fall for that. I threw the rock at him, and then hit him with one of the sticks. Shitty stick. Cracked right away. I should have stabbed him with it, but dumb me just dropped it. I turned around and the three started to come at me. 1 stick vs 3 zombies. I hate guns, but man does it make it easier to protect yourself. I hit the first one that came at me with the stick, and again it broke. I don’t know where I got the idea from, but I then charged at another one with the remaining piece of the stick. I rammed it right in its stomach, and pushed it back into a tree. I guess I hoped to pin him to the tree, but there wasn’t enough stick left. It did knock him over. I turned around and took my backpack off. I threw it at the next one that came running at me. I think I was aiming at his chest, but I hit him in the leg causing him to trip. I took the opportunity to grab a rock and bash it over the head. I grabbed my bag just in time to use it as a shield as one of them jumped at me. I remember being knocked down the incline that we were on, but not where the zombie ended up. I did land by some more rocks that I just began firing at them as fast, and hard as I could. I have no idea how many times I actually hit them, but I got one of them real good. I don’t know where I hit him, but he fell right over. With two down, it was now or never to run. I was so tired at that point that I really wasn’t sure I would be able to out run them. I faked one way then went the other way. Making it up the hill was hard enough. I looked back and they were right behind me. I should have stopped and threw something at them, but I just kept going. They were having a hard time climbing the hill as well. Not sure if zombies get tired. I ran through the tight patch of trees until finally the forest opened back up. If there was ever a time to stop and think it was then. Too bad they weren’t far behind me. So what did I do, I found another stick, and climbed a tree. Sounds dumb, but it didn’t turn out too bad. I couldn’t run anymore, and if I stopped that would have been the end of me. At first they kind of circled around unsure of where I went. They knew I was close, but they just couldn’t figure it out. I sat quietly trying to catch my breath while watching them. Even though their faces were all messed up, something told me these zombies used to be people from around this area. Probably hunters because they were good at it. I also saw that they were actually smelling around for me. I used to disguise my smell when I was told more than once that they had an excellent sense of smell. Better than when they were humans. I was never sure that was true, but now I believe. Maybe their nose bothered them seeing that it looked like it was about to fall off, but I rather think that they were smelling. Not sure how long I was there before making the sound that would give me away. I knew that was coming. When they saw me they got instantly recharged and did their best to try to climb the tree, but they were struggling big time. I couldn’t help but laugh at them. I mean, it was actually funny watching them bust their ass falling out of the tree. I think I was even laughing out loud at them. Maybe taunting them. Who knew zombies could be that entertaining? After I had my fun, I knew I had to end this before they finally learned to climb, or I took my turn busting my ass. It has happened before. Not many people around these days to laugh at my expense though. I took the stick and carefully moved down the tree. I found a good spot to stop where I could take a good swing at them. As I climbed down, they were even more eager to climb up. I hit them as hard as I could from the position I was in, but it wasn’t enough. I was hoping they would fall on their heads, break a leg, or something, but that wasn’t happening. Just kept getting up, and the stick became useless. Dam zombies. I then broke a branch into 2 pieces, waited, and then jammed the pieces into one of the zombie’s ears as hard as I could. Almost took me out of the tree. It hit the floor, and stayed down. Once again I turned to my trusty backpack. I took it off, and waited for the zombie to get close. I took the strap, and tried to get it around its neck. Wasn’t easy. Swung around the back of him, and braced for him to fall. I held on to the pack and tree when he tried to turn, and fell. I had him hanging by the neck as long as I could before letting go. When I dropped him, I slid back and hit my head on the tree good. Almost fell. Both of them weren’t moving so I climbed down, and made sure they were dead again. I was finished once I finished them off. That is why I’m here just writing about my adventure. That took a lot out of me. I did my best to get out of that area in case there were anymore of them. Been resting as much as possible.
Friday, April 1, 2011
I feel like someone is watching me. I could be paranoid after seeing those zombies. I have to assume they are after me, or I won’t be ready for them. Have slept even less now. Every sound in the forest has me jumping. Sometimes it is too quiet. Sometimes too noisy. Only found some sticks as possible weapons. This is frustrating, but I need to keep it together.
Halloween night tonight. Scariest night of the year. I will be out here under the moon in a forest with zombies roaming around. Scary enough for me. The older I got the more I hated Halloween. Mom has a bunch of pictures of me dressed up when I was little. She loved showing them to people and embarrassing me. Good thing there was less of that once they started dressing up Violet. I had to be a good sport about Halloween for her sake. God I could go for some candy about now. Hopefully I don’t become candy for the zombies tonight.
I knew they were out here somewhere. All these woods and no zombies. No way. 3 of them. I saw them yesterday while resting by this ledge. They appeared to be looking for something. I’m not sure if it was me or not. They didn’t smell me up there so that is a good sign. Maybe there is someone else here. Who knows? I just have to be extra careful now. I really need to get out of these woods. There seems to be no end to them. I also need to find a weapon. Not sure I’m fully recovered and ready for this, but I have no choice. Zombies aren’t going to care what condition I’m in.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
While lying there sick as hell, I actually thought that I might die. It wasn’t the first time. But this time I actually had time to sit there and really think about dying. All the close calls with zombies, especially with what happened at the airport. I realized that if I died, which could be at any moment, I wouldn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I think I said some goodbyes, but I’m not sure. I want to be sure, so here are my goodbyes:
Mom: I know I said goodbye already, but I have to do it again. My guilt for not being there. My guilt because Jack was mine. My guilt for not getting the vaccine like the rest of the family consumes me. I know that is why you come to me in my dreams. I wish I could take it back. Stupid little boy had to have a dog. You are such a wonderful mother. Doing what a mom is supposed to do. You took care of us all. Putting our needs in front of yours. Bent over backwards working and taking us wherever we needed to go. Rushing us to school, and picking us up. Always making sure we were on the right track. Supporting me leaving for college instead of staying home. Making sure we had everything. And taking care of dad on top of everything. You always said it was easier taking care of us than him. I just wish I had the chance to make you proud instead of killing Goodbye
Dad: I hope you are still out there somewhere. Fighting for Violet. Taking care of her. Protecting her from the evil. I know you would do whatever it takes to keep her alive. I wish I was there fighting by your side. Actually, I really wish we were sitting in front of the tv watching a game instead. I’m sorry to have taken mom from you. You know I wish it had been me 100 out of 100 times. I should have stayed home instead of running back to college. I abandoned you and Violet looking for the easy way out. It wasn’t like I accomplished anything at school after that. I know you were looking forward to me graduating one day. I wish you had that opportunity. I would have walked proudly for you. Goodbye
Violet: Best sister a brother could have. While lots of brothers and sisters spent time fighting, we always seemed to bond. I’m sorry you never got a real chance to experience the world before it turned for the worse. Kind of sad I never really got to do the whole protective brother thing. Maybe that was for the best. I know dad is protecting you now. If I was there, I would do the same. I’m sorry I took mom from you. I wouldn’t blame you if you were mad at me forever. Just know that mom and dad love us no matter where they might be right now. I love you as well sis Goodbye
Grandma/pa: Thanks for always spoiling us kids. You didn’t have to do that in order for us to visit. Summer vacations at the house were always great. It was good to get away from things. Mom was right, best breakfast in NC morning after morning. Grandma and Grandpa Logan, I’m sorry for taking your Grace from you. No parent should bury their child. Staring out the window at college, I kept thinking about how I could never look you in the face again. Right now, I would do anything for one more minute with you guys. I am sorry. Grandma and Grandpa Wagner I wish I got a chance to know you. Dad told me about how happy you were to have a grandson. I am sorry you never got to meet Violet. You would have loved her. I am sure you are resting in peace, which is better than most these days. Goodbye
Jack: It is not your fault Jack. The blame is mine more than anyone. I don’t even think you had the disease. You will always be my best friend. A boy and his dog. I will always remember our days at the park. Playing catch. Fighting for the bone. Sitting there just petting and petting you. You will always be a true Wagner. Goodbye
Friends and family: I hope things worked out better for you all. Maybe there is a safe place out there somewhere, and you all made it there. It probably isn’t the life you expected, but at least you have a life. Live it to the fullest. The best you can given the circumstances. For those still on the run, hopefully the zombies won’t find you. Be safe. Fight. Survive. Goodbye
Friends I have lost on this journey: You all deserve a personal thank you because I wouldn’t have made it this far without you. Each of you have contributed to me surviving until this point, and in the end, I hope it turns out to be worth it. Know I did my best. For some, I know I was a chicken. I wish I could have helped more. In the beginning it was tough not knowing what was really happening. So many of you filled me in on what the zombies are. Where they came from. How to kill them. How to survive. Many of you risked your life for someone you barely knew. You are all heros in my book. I hope to return the favor to more along the way. I guess some have to die in order for someone to survive, and preserve what we have left. Goodbye
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Funny. I couldn’t remember if I wrote anything while sick so I was just checking it out. I screwed up the dates. If I’m gone and you are reading this you must be like “how in the hell did he just go back a month?” Sorry, as you know, I wasn’t feeling well. It doesn’t matter since most of the dates in here are just guesses. I lost track a long time ago. No watch. No calender. No normal routine. Too much going on. Hard to keep track. The temperature kind of helps. If it is cold, must be winter, hot maybe summer. It has been harder traveling through Oklahoma, and now Arkansas. I’m not familiar with how the temp is so I might be off by even more now. It took a while to get used to not knowing the time, and dates. Everything in life is so scheduled. For me, all I knew was school. It was wake up. Classes. Study. Meal times. Sleep. Over and over. Time here and there for friends. Classes in the fall, winter, and spring. Then summer break. Holidays come and go. Be here at this time, be there at that time. Now it is be wherever whenever I want. Going and coming doesn’t matter. Holidays don’t matter. The only clock that is ticking is the one on my life. Who will survive longer the zombies, or me?
I made it through. Haven’t been that sick in a long time. I think it is past me. Sweating it out is tough. Can’t take medicine for granted. Extremely lucky that no zombies came by. That would have been the end of me. An easy dinner. Hopefully this doesn’t have to do with the dogs. I was thinking about how people reacted when this dog virus was spreading around. Nobody would believe it at first. Getting sick from your dog was ridiculous. Then it happened more and more. Too much of a coincidence that most of the people to get sick first had dogs. Boy did people take it seriously once people started dying. A shame it took so long for people to pay attention. Then it was like lockdown. If you sneezed, people would run for the hills. If you got sick, you weren’t allowed at school. Work sent people home. One of the funniest things was how if someone knew you had a dog, they wouldn’t even come close to you. As if they never knew you. Some schools, and businesses turned people away if they knew you had a dog. Nuts. The panic that spread. Some people treated it like the plague all over again, but there was still some that wouldn’t believe. Just went about their business. Fools like Roscoe. People couldn’t have been happier once a vaccine was made. People flocked to doctors’ offices. Health facilities. I remember seeing news coverage of it. Lines and lines of people. If it is true about the vaccine then that must be why there are so many zombies. I guess we were screwed either way. Going to rest some more and hopefully get moving soon. Lost time sitting here dying.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
I think I have a fever. Sweating more and more. Almost used up all my water. I’m kind of stuck here. Too sick to go anywhere, but I’m going to need more water. Hopefully I didn’t catch anything from the dogs. I thought I was immune to that. I don’t know I can’t
Got as far as I could on the boat. The water got too rough for me. I also need to get out and walk. I need to figure out where the hell I am. Hopefully I am getting close to a road. Walking through this wooded area is really hard on my feet. Tiring too. I miss traveling in the van. Much easier. And I didn’t have to drive. Got to catch up on sleep. Jess telling me I would talk in my sleep. The kids waking m