Saturday, November 19, 2011

June 19, 2022

Standing in the streets looking at all the homes reminded me of when Ethan and I were looking for a place to stay. Walking through neighborhoods. Of course we learned our lesson and stopped doing that. The neighborhoods weren’t safe, but nowhere was. We couldn’t find a good place to stay, and eventually Ethan paid for it. We had little choice and took shelter in a school with a bunch of strangers. It was kind of like people had tribes. Each held up in their own classroom. Some were friendlier than others. Like others had done, we wandered in there and with some good luck, at that time, someone let us in their room. Allowed in the room yes. Allowed any of their food or other resources not really. Not unless you could trade for it. Again I didn’t think it was the best idea to be around so many people. Ethan knew it too, but we had little choice. I don’t remember how many days we were there before it happened. I don’t know where they came from. Was someone inside bit, or sick? Or did they come from the outside? Gunfire set off panic. Everyone in our room tried to keep the door closed, but it wouldn’t last. Once it opened people were coming and going. No one knew who was a zombie or not. More gun fire. Ethan and I were in the back of the room. We were runners but not this time. We kind of just braced ourselves with our backs covered by the wall. Finally the room emptied somewhat, and we had to decide to run or not. The decision was made for us when someone running through the hall fired a couple of shots into the room. I thought we ducked. At least I did. Ethan didn’t duck, he was shot. I

I really didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t prepared for any of this. I wasn’t prepared to help him. I wasn’t prepared to make a decision to save him, or save myself. When I looked over at him I couldn’t believe the pain on his face, or the blood that was coming out his chest. I thought hoped it was closer to his shoulder but no. He couldn’t say anything either. Just trying to breath. There was no one to help us. Everyone was still running around like crazy. I finally decided to try to carry him out. I picked him up, and grab his shoulder opposite the wound. I told him to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding. God I don’t even know where I expected to take him. A bullet wound at that time was the end of you. No hospitals to save you. I guess I just didn’t want to leave him,    but I did. When I got to the doorway there was just too much going on. Almost as soon as we got in the hallway we were knocked over. More pain for him. Shock was setting in. I kneeled over just staring. I don’t think I will forget the look on his face. He knew. I knew. But neither of us could say it. I held his hand for a sec, closed my eyes, and let go for good. I know it was a struggle getting out of there for many of the obvious reasons, but don’t remember.

It was so hard to come to terms with what happened. I tried not to think about it. So much was happening, it kind of made it easier. He was just a friend. Someone I met in college. Not a best friend. Not a life long friend. But the short time we spent struggling to survive kind of bonded us. I probably wouldn’t even have made it off campus if it wasn’t for you. And I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I shed tears for you my friend. 

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