Sept. 27, 2020

You can’t take things for granted. I thought it was a pain in the ass to pack up my things, put them on a plane, and go to college. Walking home is an even bigger pain. And I had a slight fear of flying. I would love to be on a plane now. I remember getting on the flight to college. I was already nervous just with the whole life change. A new state, new home, new friends. Would I make friends? Would college be hard? Would I miss home? Mom knew I was nervous. She spent the whole flight trying to get my mind off of school. She talked about the news, the stock market, and even sports. Not that she was an expert in any of those things. Then she couldn’t help but give me cooking tips. Something she did know about. Like I was going to be a cook in college. I was on one of those meal plans. I should have cooked. It would have been better than that crap. Would love some of that crap now. The plane hit some turbulence and I almost shit my pants. That was the only time I was on a plane since I was little. I thought we were going down for sure. Mom was saying it was normal, and I thought she was nuts. She said it was like speed bumps in the road, but in the air. That was probably the most scared I had been until the zombies took over. I closed the window. I don’t understand why we had to have a seat by the window. At that point you couldn’t even see the ground. We could have crashed into anything. A building, homes, the highway, one of these stupid fields, a lake, or the ocean. All bad scenarios. Certain death I told her. Then it all went away and she spent the rest of the flight making fun of me. Laugh at my expense. I would take that now. She could laugh at me all day, and night. Oh mom, I had to take the flight home alone when she passed away. She would have been proud. The turbulence didn’t get to me. I cheated, my mind just was on other things. I couldn’t care about turbulence at that moment. It was a long flight though. The flight attendant knew something was wrong with me. She kept asking if I was ok. I kept saying no. Finally told her what happened. She actually slipped me a small glass of vodka because I wasn’t old enough to drink. It looked like water to others, but it sure as hell wasn’t water. That was some strong shit. Calmed me down a little. Dad was there waiting for me when we landed. I felt like I was taking the walk of shame as I walked into his arms. I wasn’t there. I couldn’t say goodbye. I couldn’t help her. Dad gave me a big hug as I exploded with tears. The vodka had worn off. He said it was all right, but for me, it wasn’t and never has been. And I’m right. That is why she is haunting my dreams. Because I wasn’t there. It was my fault. 

Sept. 23, 2020

Found a couple of cars that had a terrible accident. No way anyone survived. Blood all over the place. One car must have exploded. It looks like a zombie or two fed on the road kill. One of the bodies had its guts just ripped out. It is disgusting to think that what was once a human is eating a human. Is it cannibalism then? And eating it raw! I wonder why these zombies need to eat us. Why not animals? Maybe they eat animals, and I just never stick around to see it. I haven’t seen many animals around either. I wonder how long the zombies will survive once all of us humans are gone. Maybe I just need to out last them. They have to die eventually. They can’t reproduce. Or can they? That may be an even more disgusting thought then them eating people. Then having little zombie kids. I’m crazy. That can’t happen. They will die off. It is just a matter of when. Hopefully soon. Time to hit the road again. I am going to try not to think of zombie love.

Sept. 20, 2020

Nights are scary out in the middle of nowhere. No shelter to hide in. Good thing I don’t sleep too long, even though I’m tired as hell. This is a long stretch of nothing but fields. I guess there is nothing out here for the zombies. Except me. 

Sept. 17, 2020

Collecting things as I go. Really needed some new shoes. The only ones that I could find in my size I had to pull off a dead guy. Not my idea of shoe shopping. They smell worse than my shoes after football practice. Having a hard time finding keys to a vehicle. When I do, they are usually in a car that has no gas, or crashed and won’t start. This is going to be a long walk. So off I go. Day 1 of my mission to get home. 

Sept. 14, 2020

This is going to be a long trip. I’m not even sure how I’m going to do this. Are there enough cars left to get me home? What is the shortest route home? I am not an expert with maps. I don’t even think I have the energy for this. I got to think. So hard when my head hurts, and I can’t sleep. Oklahoma to North Carolina the hard way!

Sept. 12, 2020

Where to go in Zombieville? Anyone? Anyone?

I could head to the west. Maybe the heat of Arizombia. Maybe gamble in Las Zombas? How about becoming a star in ZombieWood? I could continue north. Maybe North or South Deadota? Could go to Indeada? How about Zennessee, or Lifeless Island? I could see if our government is still functioning in Washington, District of the Deceased.  Departware? Not so Marry-land? The big lights of the Big Apple, New Undead City.

Home. Home is where the heart is right? It would be nice to be home. Good old North Carolina. No zombies allowed!!! 

Sept. 7, 2020

Why the nightmares? Those girls are still on my mind. They actually got their revenge last night. I was stuck. Couldn’t move for some reason. The one girl said, “How does it feel not being able to walk?” Then the other said, “forget not walking, he’s about to feel death!” I tried to tell them I didn’t kill them, but they just laughed. Then one jumped on me and bit into my neck, while the other went for my leg. Just before I woke up I had the feeling my mom was in the background with a grin on her face. I wish I could control when I wake up. Still not sure why mom keeps appearing in my dreams. Maybe my guilt is still inside me somewhere. Even with all this bullshit going on, I blame myself. I don’t know what I can do to fix things. Is there anything to fix? I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere. No one to talk to. No one to get advice from. I just have to keep moving. There has to be someone out there. No way in hell I’m the last man standing. 

Sept. 4, 2020

Damn those little girls. That is what I get for being so curious. They weren’t dead, and the family wasn’t protecting them. They were protecting themselves from the girls. I don’t know why they didn’t move when I was up there, but they sure as hell moved when I wasn’t paying attention. I was lucky that there was a mirror on the wall in front of me. I saw one of them just in time to turn around. Usually they make tons of noise because they just come running at you, but this one was sneaking up on me. I felt bad doing it, but I turned around and smashed one of the pictures right over her head. It stunned her just enough for me to pick up the lamp, and finish her off. I grabbed my stuff, and headed for the door. As I came around the corner, the other girl came crashing down the stairs. She wasn’t as slick as her sister. Not enough coordination to handle the stairs. I passed her, opened the door half way, but then stopped. I had to kill her as well. Or maybe not. I slid a nearby bookshelf over to her, and let it fall over her legs. If she can’t walk, she wouldn’t be able to follow me. It was bad enough killing one little girl, none the less two. That is the first time I have had to kill a zombie child. It doesn’t feel good, even if she was already dead. Not to mention I had just been looking at their family pictures. This is just so messed up. Why did this have to happen? Why am I continuously put in these fucked up positions? What if someone had to do that to Violet? I   I   I would be furious, but I would have to understand. God???? 

Sept. 2, 2020

Found another farm in the middle of nowhere. No peanuts left. Nothing really left. Except the two little girls I found locked in a room upstairs. Apparently they starved to death. There appeared to be some food that they ate, but it wasn’t enough. One was dead on the bed, and the other was by the door. Their parents must have locked them in there for their protection. Not only was it locked, but they filled the hallway with every piece of furniture they had. I guess they didn’t want anyone getting close to that room. Of course, I couldn’t help myself. I moved everything to see why it was blocked off. Could have been a dumb move. Instead, it was just sad, and depressing. Sitting here on their couch, I can see a bunch of family pictures. They were probably a happy farming family before. The 2 girls had some older brothers I think. Their father was probably a hard working man, and their mother wa 

Aug. 28, 2020

Nothing to do but think so I was just thinking about when all this madness started for me. I just got back to college after my mom’s funeral. It was too hard being at home so I decided to go back to school. Maybe it would keep my mind off what had just happened. Weird things were happening already, but nobody was really paying close attention to it yet. The point was to go to class, but I wasn’t ready for that yet. I would just sit in the room staring out the window. Then we all got an alert that there was a fight somewhere on campus, and the school was investigating. I barely paid attention to it. None of my friends really knew what happened either. The next thing I know I was sitting by the window and noticed smoke coming from the dorm across the street. Then students came pouring out of the building. They all gathered outside watching the building become overtaken by fire. I was waiting for the fire department, or police, but they never came. Some administrators were there, but they didn’t seem to know what to do. All the sudden the crowd went nuts. Yelling and screaming, and then it dispersed. There were only a few people left. I had to look really hard to see, but it looked like one person was on top of another beating the hell out of them. A couple of other people just stood there watching. At the time, I didn’t know what was happening, but I do now. It was a hungry zombie. It jumped off its victim, and latched onto one of those stupid bystanders. I hadn’t noticed, but most of the people in our dorm had evacuated. I am not sure what made me do it, but I emptied my book bag, and then filled it with everything we had in the frig. I left the building like everyone else, but wasn’t sure where to go. Still no police. School staff was hard to find. Students were just running all around. Then a few of my friends stopped me, and told me they were getting in the car to leave. I didn’t care so I went with them. Apparently I graduated that day because that was the last time I saw that school. We fought through the chaos, and made it to the car. As we were driving, we noticed no one was stopping at red lights, or stop signs. People were driving on both sides of the road, on the grass, on the pavement. I don’t know how we got to Duke’s house in one piece. His mom was so happy to see him, and she welcomed us into her house. He had to explain to her what happened. She hadn’t heard anything because it turned out she was taking care of her husband. He had become really sick. She originally thought it was the flu, but she couldn’t cool down his fever. She didn’t want to worry Duke so it was a surprise for him. Ethan and I turned on the TV hoping to find out what the hell was going on. There was nothing for hours until the emergency broadcast came on. It advised that everyone should stay in their homes until further notice. No reason why. Just stay home everything was closed. Things should be back to normal in a day or two. So much for a day or two. Never trust the government especially with the lack of details they were giving out. So we had no choice but to sit there and wait. I just kept thinking about mom, and Duke was thinking about his dad. Then his mom told us her husband had passed away. They tried to call the police, hospital, and fire department but the lines were all busy. She let Duke see his dad one more time, and then locked the door. Of course he asked me how I was dealing with the loss of my mother, and I told him I wasn’t doing a good job of it. I know I should have been stronger for him, but I didn’t have it in me. There were just too many things going on. A few more awkward days passed until we all got a real shock. We all got up but couldn’t find Mrs. Bradley. The only place we didn’t look was where her husband was. Duke found the door unlocked so he opened it, and looked inside. We were down the hall watching him. He had stepped just inside but didn’t say anything. We heard some noise, but I wasn’t sure what it was. Then Duke hit the floor. His father was on top of him. Ripping away at him. We both hesitated. Ethan took a few steps closer but had seen enough. He turned around, grabbed the car keys, and told me to get my stuff. What a way to return our gratitude for letting us stay there. We just left them to die. Again we were on the road, and it was even crazier. Cars were all over the street. Accidents. Fires. People running around. No order to anything. We only got so far before another car hit us. It was bound to happen. There was no time to argue about it. We just got out, and set off on foot. That was when this journey began. We didn’t know where to go back then, and I still don’t. Everything has gone to shit. How quickly things changed for the worse.