Jan. 3, 2020

Guess there is still some tension out there because they didn’t let us leave our houses today except for a quick bite to eat. Things were quiet out there. I watched out the window from time to time, but there was not a lot of action going on. The ones that guarded gatherers just guarded. The ones that patrolled the grounds just patrolled. The rest of them just did their own thing. Looks like a lot of thinking was going on. I wonder what Joe thinks.

I think he likes the arrangements enough to want to stay. On the other hand, he is smart enough to know that we can’t stay here forever. It depends how much hope you have. If this craziness ends tomorrow, then we are fine. If this madness goes on for a year, even months, it will become harder to stay. Where would we go? Would we all go?  Would we all go together or separate? How would they decide who gets what? Could we move everything that we would need to survive? Actually, they would have to take us gathers. Who else would pack all this shit up? Who else would do all the heavy lifting? 

Jan. 2, 2020

Wow, last night one of the hunters gave this huge speech about the New Year, and how things need to change. This sparked a crazy argument about what the hunters want to do next. Everyone had an opinion. Some thought everything was good, and were fine staying. Others were talking about a need to move on. They mentioned how they had to go further and further out to find food and supplies. They need to make a decision before they use up all the gas that they have found. Then there is the question about where to go. The people that want to leave all have their own ideas on where they want to go. Things got so heated that they sent us gatherers away. I guess they didn’t want us to see any weakness in them. It is a hard decision. Whenever I had to make the call, it was always to leave. Some places were great to stay at, but eventually all your resources run out, and the zombies catch up to you. It will become harder to stay here, but I think they will decide to stay for now. What a way to ring in the New Year! 

Dec. 26, 2019

Christmas. Some people seem like they don’t care, but it has to bother them. How could you not miss Christmas? Your family? Even presents! This really sucks. Depressed all over again. Remembering my last Christmas at home. Always good to be home from school, and to take a break. To see how much trouble Violet has got into. Mom making a feast for all of us. Family in from out of town. Catch up talking football with dad. Such a happy time. Nothing but the doldrums now. No home, no family, no presents, no Christmas lights…nothing. Alone on Christmas again with New Years around the corner. 

Dec. 15, 2019

Not much going on. Just doing the gatherer thing. Joe is not sure when they are going out again. I asked him about the zombies they killed in some of those other towns. He said most of them were there when they got there. There usually weren’t many people still alive in any of the towns. They do enjoy killing them, but he said they usually tried to kill as many as they could so that they could look for supplies safely. That makes sense. At first, they didn’t touch them, but after a while they decided to make an example of them. Still not totally sure why. I think it had to do with people like me that came to the towns. I think it was like their hunting trophies. Probably like when they used to kill deer, and hang the heads on their walls. I wonder if they have any zombie heads in any of the houses. Interesting. Disgusting! 

Dec. 9, 2019

Still disappointed. Wanted to write yesterday, but couldn’t. Didn’t see one zombie. Not one out there. I ended up just working. Carrying their stuff. Handing out food and water. Just work. Don’t know when they will go out again. Hopefully that wasn’t my only chance to kill a zombie. Just going to keep close to Joe. He will let me know. I will have to make sure he knows I still want to kill some zombies. 

Dec. 8, 2019

Disappointed! 

Dec. 1, 2019

I am going, but I think I am going as one of the few gathers they bring along. So I am still a gather. That is fine. Hopefully I will get a shot at some zombies. Joe told me it would be an important trip because they are going to look for another gas truck. One of the hunters knows a place where they have some trucks, and gas. Abandoned of course. That is where they got their current truck. I was wondering where they got it. Thought they got lucky, but I guess not. Maybe these guys are smarter than I thought. I am excited. Tonight we pack, and tomorrow we leave. Not like going to the lake for the summer. Not sure how long this will take. 

Nov. 25, 2019

Gather no more. I’m hunting some zombies. After days of begging, they said I could go. They didn’t promise a gun or anything, but I will find a way to take out my frustrations. I’m not sure when we are going, but hopefully it will be soon. I can’t hold this anger in much longer. 

Nov. 20, 2019

Thinking and thinking. Reading over my entries to see if I really mean this. I think I do. I think I can do it. What do I have to lose? Forget this, I am going to ask. Maybe Joe will let me go on the next trip. I am going to ask right now. I am He said he would see what he could do. I am not sure he totally trusts me yet. I don’t care. I think it is time to find some zombies to kill. Those damn bastards. Killing everyone. Screw them. They better let me go. 

Nov. 12, 2019

Still thinking I could kill zombies. I have killed them before. Yea, it was for survival, but wouldn’t this be for survival too? The hunters are just being on the offensive. I have been playing defense all this time. Hell, if we don’t go after them, they will just come after us. I was talking with Joe, and he said no zombies have attacked this place since he has been here. I think that is because they go out, and kill them before they can get anywhere near here. I have been seriously thinking about asking Joe if I can go hunting with them. Can I do it?

Nov. 10, 2019

Still in a bad mood. Birthday has brought up too many memories. I just keep thinking of all my birthdays. I have been reading the end of my Nov. 3 journal entry over and over, and have been seriously thinking about it. I do hate the zombies. I owe them nothing. Why am I hesitant about killing them? Maybe the hunters have got it right after all. I know I said I wasn’t into hunting the zombies, but maybe I should be. I am so mad I actually feel like killing some zombies. The hunters kill for fun, but I feel like getting some revenge. Who are these zombies to me anyway? They just ruined everything. Everyone’s lives!