Nov. 11, 2020

Can’t get into this town. The families are here. I saw the vans, and backed off. I’m on the outside looking in. Haven’t seen them light a fire yet so I’m wondering if they are doing it. They do seem to be picking up more supplies. They better leave me something. At least they won’t be taking any cars. Again moms are watching the kids closely, and the dads are at work. Haven’t seen the young girl. 

Nov. 7, 2020

What a terrible night. Chips and water didn’t mix well. Got little sleep in between throwing up and nightmares. I dreamt I had a huge birthday party. Family, friends, and people I didn’t even know. It was on a field I think. Somewhere I don’t know. Everyone seemed like they were having a good time. It was time to sing Happy Birthday. People gathered around the biggest cake you could imagine. Mom to my right, dad to my left, and Violet next to him. When the song ended, instead of people clapping, there was a bolt of lightening, and it insistently became dark. I turned and looked at mom, and there it was again. She was a zombie. Not only a zombie, but the lead zombie. She waved her hands, and laughed then everyone transformed. They were all zombies. I had nowhere to go. They knocked the cake off the table, and threw me on top. It was clear they were going to eat me, but I woke up before that could happen. I don’t remember much about the other dreams. No motivation to move on right now. Nor the strength. Looks like another day of just me and my thoughts.

Nov. 6, 2020

Is this a birthday present? People! 2 families it looked like. Family of looters. Stopped and took everything from the car I had. So much for coming back for it. I heard something coming, and hid in the bushes. Watched them as they went through the car. It is not fair, they had 2 cars. 2 vans. One had most of the people, and the other is where they were putting all the supplies they were stealing. It appeared to be 2 moms, 2 dads, 3 younger kids, and a young maybe teenaged girl. Not sure if there was anyone else still in the vans. The kids got out and stretched, while the moms watched them closely. The younger girl didn’t do much. The dads did the stealing. As soon as they were done, they all got back in the vans, and took off. I’m not sure if they were the ones setting the fires, but they have to be. What are the odds of there being anyone else out here? They could be part of a larger group, which is exactly what I am afraid of. They are out in front of me now, so I don’t have to worry about them sneaking up on me. I am going to stay off the road though. Just in case. Now it is time to celebrate my birthday. Stale chips, and nasty lake water. I thought I out grew birthdays, especially in college, but I would love to celebrate it now. A nice vanilla and chocolate cake. I could eat the whole thing myself. 2 or 3 cakes actually. 

Nov. 3, 2020

Decided just to take what I need, and could carry. No way I could push that car. So back on foot it is. At least I got some rest, so I should be able to make it to my next stop without a problem. Could I find two cars in a row? Am I really that lucky? Doubt it. Not sure I’m even lucky being alive. I could be dead and resting in peace. That is if the zombies don’t find me, and snack on me. On the brighter side of things, it is starting to get cooler outside. I am going to need to find some clothes. Maybe something warmer which is usually a pain to carry around. Too warm to wear it in the daytime, but need it at night. It is so nice and cold at night that I just want to sleep forever. Can’t because the dreams, and my internal alarm waking me up to check if everything is ok, I don’t sleep too much at one time. I really need to find a better way t

Nov. 1, 2020

I think I got the most out of that car. Came up just short of this town. I was really hoping to make it because I have all these supplies with me. Thinking about pushing the car the rest of the way, but I’m not sure it is worth it. Don’t think I have the strength or energy for that either. Decisions decisions. 

Oct. 25, 2020

Looks like I got out of there in time. Not far down the road I noticed something in the mirror. I stopped the car to get out, and take a look. There was a huge cloud of smoke. Who ever is setting the fires must have gotten there right after I left. I thought about turning around, but decided against it. Not sure what the story is with all the fire. Is it a signal? Are they burning something in particular? Frying zombies maybe? I got back in the car, and took off before they headed this way. Not sure if they saw me. Resting for now before I get moving again. Don’t want to fall asleep again, and crash the car. 

Oct. 22, 2020

Jackpot! Found a little car, and I got the keys. Only about half a tank of gas, so I am checking the map closely to get the most out of it. Can’t waste my time taking a wrong turn, or going down the wrong path. Loaded it up, and leaving shortly. 

Oct. 18, 2020

What a shocker. No one in this town either. At least none that will show themselves. Got myself some nice new pens. Some of the cheap ones go fast. Also, found a little store that still hadn’t been raided. Got some old cereal, and chips. Always exciting on the stomach. Better than grass though. You know what smells bad. Milk. I was curious and opened one, and it was terrible. Thinking I could use them to throw off my smell if zombies are on to me so I took a few of the smaller cartons of milk. If I could find a working car, I could take more of this stuff. Going to look in the morning. Dark now so I’m locked in here for the night. Hopefully I can get a good nights rest. No nightmares please. 

Oct. 15, 2020

Not frozen. Back on the road. Getting close to a town from what the signs say. 

Oct. 10, 2020

Yesterday was a good day. I decided to go a little off course and follow this sign to a lake. I needed water and a bath. Really needed a bath. It was so refreshing. It was like finding the fountain of youth. I swam around like I was just one of the fish. It was really cold, but that wasn’t going to stop me. I washed my clothes, and filled up some water bottles. Disgusting to drink, but I don’t really have a choice. Now I’m freezing. I can’t start a fire to save my life, literally. Before I forget, must make note of some smoke I have seen in the distance. I have seen it recently while walking down the road. Not sure what to make of it. Sign of people, but I have become very cautious of people. With zombies you always know what their intentions are. With people you never know. It would be nice to be around people, but that is only if they are friendly. I am going to mind my business, and continue on my mission for now. That is if I don’t freeze to death first.

Oct. 2, 2020

Walking walking walking. I will be in good shape. I’m like a giraffe. Maybe more like a cow. I have been eating leaves, and grass. There is nothing out here, and I’m out of the little food I had. I’m walking and getting nowhere fast. I see a sign every once in a while, but the miles seem to never shrink. I need transportation. Call a cab. There is too much time to think. All I do is think and it is driving me crazy. I try singing but that doesn’t last long. I don’t remember the last time I heard a song. Radio went to emergency broadcast systems then just died along time ago. I haven’t even turned a radio on in any of these cars. No point. Just like the TV’s. No point. The only media is my journal. I wonder if any other survivors are documenting their struggles. If someone finds them when we are long gone, they could be part of an ugly time in history. They would probably burn them. Hide what happened. No one would want to remember this. Or they could become part of the rare evidence of what happened. Proof that this wasn’t a lie. A nightmare. And I am ruining it with this stupidity I keep writing. The things I have done, and written. Well, it’s the truth. If you are reading this it is THE TRUTH. I can’t make this shit up. PS you took too long to save us. Next time take the threat of zombies seriously.

Sept. 27, 2020

You can’t take things for granted. I thought it was a pain in the ass to pack up my things, put them on a plane, and go to college. Walking home is an even bigger pain. And I had a slight fear of flying. I would love to be on a plane now. I remember getting on the flight to college. I was already nervous just with the whole life change. A new state, new home, new friends. Would I make friends? Would college be hard? Would I miss home? Mom knew I was nervous. She spent the whole flight trying to get my mind off of school. She talked about the news, the stock market, and even sports. Not that she was an expert in any of those things. Then she couldn’t help but give me cooking tips. Something she did know about. Like I was going to be a cook in college. I was on one of those meal plans. I should have cooked. It would have been better than that crap. Would love some of that crap now. The plane hit some turbulence and I almost shit my pants. That was the only time I was on a plane since I was little. I thought we were going down for sure. Mom was saying it was normal, and I thought she was nuts. She said it was like speed bumps in the road, but in the air. That was probably the most scared I had been until the zombies took over. I closed the window. I don’t understand why we had to have a seat by the window. At that point you couldn’t even see the ground. We could have crashed into anything. A building, homes, the highway, one of these stupid fields, a lake, or the ocean. All bad scenarios. Certain death I told her. Then it all went away and she spent the rest of the flight making fun of me. Laugh at my expense. I would take that now. She could laugh at me all day, and night. Oh mom, I had to take the flight home alone when she passed away. She would have been proud. The turbulence didn’t get to me. I cheated, my mind just was on other things. I couldn’t care about turbulence at that moment. It was a long flight though. The flight attendant knew something was wrong with me. She kept asking if I was ok. I kept saying no. Finally told her what happened. She actually slipped me a small glass of vodka because I wasn’t old enough to drink. It looked like water to others, but it sure as hell wasn’t water. That was some strong shit. Calmed me down a little. Dad was there waiting for me when we landed. I felt like I was taking the walk of shame as I walked into his arms. I wasn’t there. I couldn’t say goodbye. I couldn’t help her. Dad gave me a big hug as I exploded with tears. The vodka had worn off. He said it was all right, but for me, it wasn’t and never has been. And I’m right. That is why she is haunting my dreams. Because I wasn’t there. It was my fault. 

Sept. 23, 2020

Found a couple of cars that had a terrible accident. No way anyone survived. Blood all over the place. One car must have exploded. It looks like a zombie or two fed on the road kill. One of the bodies had its guts just ripped out. It is disgusting to think that what was once a human is eating a human. Is it cannibalism then? And eating it raw! I wonder why these zombies need to eat us. Why not animals? Maybe they eat animals, and I just never stick around to see it. I haven’t seen many animals around either. I wonder how long the zombies will survive once all of us humans are gone. Maybe I just need to out last them. They have to die eventually. They can’t reproduce. Or can they? That may be an even more disgusting thought then them eating people. Then having little zombie kids. I’m crazy. That can’t happen. They will die off. It is just a matter of when. Hopefully soon. Time to hit the road again. I am going to try not to think of zombie love.

Sept. 20, 2020

Nights are scary out in the middle of nowhere. No shelter to hide in. Good thing I don’t sleep too long, even though I’m tired as hell. This is a long stretch of nothing but fields. I guess there is nothing out here for the zombies. Except me. 

Sept. 17, 2020

Collecting things as I go. Really needed some new shoes. The only ones that I could find in my size I had to pull off a dead guy. Not my idea of shoe shopping. They smell worse than my shoes after football practice. Having a hard time finding keys to a vehicle. When I do, they are usually in a car that has no gas, or crashed and won’t start. This is going to be a long walk. So off I go. Day 1 of my mission to get home. 

Sept. 14, 2020

This is going to be a long trip. I’m not even sure how I’m going to do this. Are there enough cars left to get me home? What is the shortest route home? I am not an expert with maps. I don’t even think I have the energy for this. I got to think. So hard when my head hurts, and I can’t sleep. Oklahoma to North Carolina the hard way!

Sept. 12, 2020

Where to go in Zombieville? Anyone? Anyone?

I could head to the west. Maybe the heat of Arizombia. Maybe gamble in Las Zombas? How about becoming a star in ZombieWood? I could continue north. Maybe North or South Deadota? Could go to Indeada? How about Zennessee, or Lifeless Island? I could see if our government is still functioning in Washington, District of the Deceased.  Departware? Not so Marry-land? The big lights of the Big Apple, New Undead City.

Home. Home is where the heart is right? It would be nice to be home. Good old North Carolina. No zombies allowed!!! 

Sept. 7, 2020

Why the nightmares? Those girls are still on my mind. They actually got their revenge last night. I was stuck. Couldn’t move for some reason. The one girl said, “How does it feel not being able to walk?” Then the other said, “forget not walking, he’s about to feel death!” I tried to tell them I didn’t kill them, but they just laughed. Then one jumped on me and bit into my neck, while the other went for my leg. Just before I woke up I had the feeling my mom was in the background with a grin on her face. I wish I could control when I wake up. Still not sure why mom keeps appearing in my dreams. Maybe my guilt is still inside me somewhere. Even with all this bullshit going on, I blame myself. I don’t know what I can do to fix things. Is there anything to fix? I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere. No one to talk to. No one to get advice from. I just have to keep moving. There has to be someone out there. No way in hell I’m the last man standing. 

Sept. 4, 2020

Damn those little girls. That is what I get for being so curious. They weren’t dead, and the family wasn’t protecting them. They were protecting themselves from the girls. I don’t know why they didn’t move when I was up there, but they sure as hell moved when I wasn’t paying attention. I was lucky that there was a mirror on the wall in front of me. I saw one of them just in time to turn around. Usually they make tons of noise because they just come running at you, but this one was sneaking up on me. I felt bad doing it, but I turned around and smashed one of the pictures right over her head. It stunned her just enough for me to pick up the lamp, and finish her off. I grabbed my stuff, and headed for the door. As I came around the corner, the other girl came crashing down the stairs. She wasn’t as slick as her sister. Not enough coordination to handle the stairs. I passed her, opened the door half way, but then stopped. I had to kill her as well. Or maybe not. I slid a nearby bookshelf over to her, and let it fall over her legs. If she can’t walk, she wouldn’t be able to follow me. It was bad enough killing one little girl, none the less two. That is the first time I have had to kill a zombie child. It doesn’t feel good, even if she was already dead. Not to mention I had just been looking at their family pictures. This is just so messed up. Why did this have to happen? Why am I continuously put in these fucked up positions? What if someone had to do that to Violet? I   I   I would be furious, but I would have to understand. God???? 

Sept. 2, 2020

Found another farm in the middle of nowhere. No peanuts left. Nothing really left. Except the two little girls I found locked in a room upstairs. Apparently they starved to death. There appeared to be some food that they ate, but it wasn’t enough. One was dead on the bed, and the other was by the door. Their parents must have locked them in there for their protection. Not only was it locked, but they filled the hallway with every piece of furniture they had. I guess they didn’t want anyone getting close to that room. Of course, I couldn’t help myself. I moved everything to see why it was blocked off. Could have been a dumb move. Instead, it was just sad, and depressing. Sitting here on their couch, I can see a bunch of family pictures. They were probably a happy farming family before. The 2 girls had some older brothers I think. Their father was probably a hard working man, and their mother wa 

Aug. 28, 2020

Nothing to do but think so I was just thinking about when all this madness started for me. I just got back to college after my mom’s funeral. It was too hard being at home so I decided to go back to school. Maybe it would keep my mind off what had just happened. Weird things were happening already, but nobody was really paying close attention to it yet. The point was to go to class, but I wasn’t ready for that yet. I would just sit in the room staring out the window. Then we all got an alert that there was a fight somewhere on campus, and the school was investigating. I barely paid attention to it. None of my friends really knew what happened either. The next thing I know I was sitting by the window and noticed smoke coming from the dorm across the street. Then students came pouring out of the building. They all gathered outside watching the building become overtaken by fire. I was waiting for the fire department, or police, but they never came. Some administrators were there, but they didn’t seem to know what to do. All the sudden the crowd went nuts. Yelling and screaming, and then it dispersed. There were only a few people left. I had to look really hard to see, but it looked like one person was on top of another beating the hell out of them. A couple of other people just stood there watching. At the time, I didn’t know what was happening, but I do now. It was a hungry zombie. It jumped off its victim, and latched onto one of those stupid bystanders. I hadn’t noticed, but most of the people in our dorm had evacuated. I am not sure what made me do it, but I emptied my book bag, and then filled it with everything we had in the frig. I left the building like everyone else, but wasn’t sure where to go. Still no police. School staff was hard to find. Students were just running all around. Then a few of my friends stopped me, and told me they were getting in the car to leave. I didn’t care so I went with them. Apparently I graduated that day because that was the last time I saw that school. We fought through the chaos, and made it to the car. As we were driving, we noticed no one was stopping at red lights, or stop signs. People were driving on both sides of the road, on the grass, on the pavement. I don’t know how we got to Duke’s house in one piece. His mom was so happy to see him, and she welcomed us into her house. He had to explain to her what happened. She hadn’t heard anything because it turned out she was taking care of her husband. He had become really sick. She originally thought it was the flu, but she couldn’t cool down his fever. She didn’t want to worry Duke so it was a surprise for him. Ethan and I turned on the TV hoping to find out what the hell was going on. There was nothing for hours until the emergency broadcast came on. It advised that everyone should stay in their homes until further notice. No reason why. Just stay home everything was closed. Things should be back to normal in a day or two. So much for a day or two. Never trust the government especially with the lack of details they were giving out. So we had no choice but to sit there and wait. I just kept thinking about mom, and Duke was thinking about his dad. Then his mom told us her husband had passed away. They tried to call the police, hospital, and fire department but the lines were all busy. She let Duke see his dad one more time, and then locked the door. Of course he asked me how I was dealing with the loss of my mother, and I told him I wasn’t doing a good job of it. I know I should have been stronger for him, but I didn’t have it in me. There were just too many things going on. A few more awkward days passed until we all got a real shock. We all got up but couldn’t find Mrs. Bradley. The only place we didn’t look was where her husband was. Duke found the door unlocked so he opened it, and looked inside. We were down the hall watching him. He had stepped just inside but didn’t say anything. We heard some noise, but I wasn’t sure what it was. Then Duke hit the floor. His father was on top of him. Ripping away at him. We both hesitated. Ethan took a few steps closer but had seen enough. He turned around, grabbed the car keys, and told me to get my stuff. What a way to return our gratitude for letting us stay there. We just left them to die. Again we were on the road, and it was even crazier. Cars were all over the street. Accidents. Fires. People running around. No order to anything. We only got so far before another car hit us. It was bound to happen. There was no time to argue about it. We just got out, and set off on foot. That was when this journey began. We didn’t know where to go back then, and I still don’t. Everything has gone to shit. How quickly things changed for the worse. 

Aug. 22, 2020

Not many people escaped that town so I was able to find a car. A pick up truck. Probably came to town to pick up supplies. Sad knowing that they didn’t make it. I need to find people that have made it. I think I may be going nuts from the loneliness, and the nightmares. My head is killing me. That town didn’t have much. I need to find a better town than that one. Is there any safe place left to go in Zombieville? 

Aug. 19, 2020

Since sleeping is now more unpleasant than ever, I decided to make my way through town. A lot of dead bodies, body parts, and blood. Been decaying for a long time now. Looks like these people may not have known about the zombies, and were taken by surprise. Not a shock being out here in the middle of nowhere. Actually more bodies than I would have thought for this small area. I got what I could find, and tomorrow I’m out of here. 

Aug. 18, 2020

Nightmares a plenty. I can’t escape them. It’s like when I bumped my head, it jarred lose the madness in my mind. Sometimes I can remember what the dreams were about, and sometimes I just wake up with a bad feeling. In one dream I was watching dogs, lots of dogs. Then those dogs became zombies. The zombies then became dogs. Back and forth. Then they were attacking all these people. Ripping them to pieces. One second it was a dog chewing on someone’s leg, then it was a zombie. Then I dreamt I was back in that pet store looking for a new dog. Thing was all the dogs had human faces that turned zombie. I even complained to the manager. That was when I realized the manager was my mom. My confusion must have woke me up. That is the first time I have dreamt of her in a long time. Makes me remember the good old days. Just anything with the family, even in those moments that weren’t our finest. I would take them. To be 

Aug. 13, 2020

Holding up in another store. What’s new? Apparently this is another small town. I haven’t seen much yet. Kind of just want to rest for a while. This is safer than in some bushes. Yea, I think I’m going to rest while I can. 

Aug. 11, 2020

Made it to town. 

Aug. 9, 2020

So that wasn’t a good idea. Apparently all the noise the tractor made attracted the few zombies that there were around here. They came running right at it. I was able to run one of them over. I used my new stick to fend off the others from climbing up on it. One almost bit my leg. It was so close. Another got its leg run over. It fell to the floor and made a terrible sound. I think it then was going to crawl after me. Motivation! I finally got the tractor to kick into a higher gear, and was able to stay ahead of them. Again motivation! I don’t know how long they kept chasing me. Every time I looked back, they were there. Finally I looked back and they were gone. I just kept going until this thing finally quit on me. Now I’m worried because I’m on foot again, and I know there are zombies out there. Maybe I should have turned around and killed them. That just hasn’t been my strategy though. I am closer to the town now. I think. I hope. Maybe that is where they came from. Not good. 

Aug. 5, 2020

Look what I’ve found a couple of tractors out in this field. Never operated one. Sitting on top of one now. These things are bigger than I imagined. Only one of them will start. I want to ride it, but I’m not sure about keeping control of it. Also, a little afraid of falling off of it. It is transportation. 

Aug. 2, 2020

In the short time I slept last night I had so many nightmares. One was that a zombie found me sleeping. I was watching him watching me sleeping. Does that make sense? Whatever. He just stood there drooling while looking at the hole in my head. He even got close up, and drooled all over me including on my wound. I guess I am a hard sleeper in my dreams. I don’t know what was stopping him from sinking his teeth into me, but even in my dreams I’m glad he didn’t attack me. He was probably as hungry as I am now. Another dream started off well. I took Violet to the movies. Then we had ice cream followed by a walk down the boardwalk. That was when it got weird. We just kept walking and walking and walking. There was no end to it. Then you hear them coming. Like an army of them. Just the sound of their feet stomping on the boardwalk, but we couldn’t tell where they were coming from. We started running, but we were going nowhere fast. Then she disappeared. I screamed for her, but nothing. The sound of the zombies charging stopped too. All I could hear was them chewing on something. Of course I feared it was Violet. I fell to my knees and screamed. That was when I woke up for the last time. I haven’t slept since. 

July 28, 2020

Not much to laugh at these days, but I amused myself today. I found this nice strong stick, and have been using it as a walking cane. Suddenly I have become an old man. It is doing the trick. When I get dizzy it helps hold me up. You just have to laugh at yourself sometimes. At this pace, I am going nowhere quickly. I checked my map and still have a lot to go before the next town. Not sure I want to go to town. Need food and supplies, but towns usually mean zombies. I am in no condition to fight them off right now. Still feel like this is the beginning of the end. 

July 26, 2020

Still alive, but my head hurts so much that I might feel better being dead. I have no more medicine, not even something strong to drink. This is one of those times when you wish someone were around. They could check out my head. Feels like a good hole. Lost more blood than I thought. I checked my shirt, and it was soaked. No wonder why I passed out. Apparently I am on the road to nowhere. I haven’t seen anything. I don’t know how Crowley lived out here so far from civilization. I have walked past the mess left by the tornado. Rest time now then onward!

July 21, 2020

What a fool I am! All this time I’m worried about zombies killing me, but I should worry about killing myself. Maybe it was just because I was tired, but I took a misstep and fell backwards. Hit my head pretty good. I don’t know how long I was out cold. That is terrible. I was an easy picking for the zombies. Thankfully there are still no signs of them. Lost some blood. My head is partly cloudy, which is making writing hard right now. I just wanted to note the head injury in case this is it for me. I didn’t die heroically, by natural causes, or even unnatural causes. I died cause I wasn’t paying attention. Good going! 

July 15, 2020

So I have begun my journey down the road, or around the road. I never imagined what a mess a tornado could make. There is debris everywhere. Trees, dirt, pieces of homes, and things that couldn’t have been from around here. I stopped to rest by one of the few trees still standing, and then saw something interesting. I looked up in the tree and there was 2 zombies, or the remains of 2 zombies just hanging there. I was right. The tornado tore off most of there skin. There was just enough left to tell they were zombies, but were mostly just bones now. I couldn’t tell, but I don’t think all of their body parts were there. Who knows where they landed? No sign of Crowley. I feel guilty for leaving him, plus we weren’t exactly at the height of our friendship. Like the others, he is just a memory now. Hopefully the only memory left of him isn’t just in this journal. 

July 11, 2020

You are never going to believe what happened now. I was out in the field with Crowley on his side and me on my side when I heard this commotion going on. At first I just thought it was Crowley, but it was zombies. They were running right in our direction. Before I knew it, I yelled for Crowley to run, and took off. He didn’t follow, and I felt bad leaving him alone, but I was defenseless out in the field. I turned to run so fast that I didn’t notice what the true commotion was about. The zombies weren’t coming after us, they were running from a tornado that was coming up quickly behind them. Finally, something that brought fear to the zombies. I guess it was pure instinct that they knew to run from it. I wish I had more time to enjoy their fear, but I had plenty to fear myself. Thankfully Crowley’s farm has a storm shelter. I usually kept the keys with me, but not on that day. I ran into the house, grabbed the keys and my bag, and ran to the shelter. As I stepped inside I glanced up, and saw the zombies spread out running for their lives. Their lives? Are they alive? Regardless, they definitely couldn’t care less about me. I closed the door. Crowley must have been through this before because the door was well secured, and the shelter was stocked with very old food. I had come down there once before mostly out of curiosity. I am glad I had the sense to leave all of the food down there, even if it is hard to eat. There was only a small crack of light coming in, and I curled up in the corner. Seconds later, I could hear the house getting torn apart. Poor Crowley. Both his home, and himself blow away by a tornado. I had never been through anything like that before. We had some close calls with hurricanes back home, but they never reached us. So I’m sitting here on what was the bathtub wondering what to do next? Nothing but open field as far as I can see. I could stay here in the shelter a little longer, but it isn’t going to hold me forever. All the crops are gone. Hopefully the tornado got all the zombies. Probably ripped the skin right off of them. I wish I could have seen them as they were swept up, and disintegrated by the tornado. I guess I better prepare for a walk. Man it must have sucked back in time with no cars, bikes, or even before people rode horses.

June 23, 2020

I knew this day would be coming. Crowley and I had a big fight yesterday. He just doesn’t do enough work around here. Always watching but not working. I don’t know how he survived before I came along. I feel bad because he is older, but like I said before “I am not going to be a slave again!” We agreed or I decided that for now on we farm what ever we are going to eat. I have my side and he has his. Obviously he has more experience than I do, but I will just have to do the best I can. I have already learned a lot. This kind of reminds me of one of my college roommates. In my freshman year, it actually worked out all right. The next year was a battle. John Murphy Love. I had no love for him. I don’t think many people did. For someone with love in their name, you would have thought he would have been nicer. Forget that. Complete ass! Always thought I was using his stuff. Always complained about the TV shows I watched, or music I played. Ha, I even remember when he thought I was wearing his clothes. If being an ass didn’t detour the girls, his clothes did. I don’t even know where you buy clothes that ugly. He was just different. At times I wanted to feel sorry for him, but in the end he was just an ass. I can’t believe we actually had to divide the room. Even the frig. It was ridiculous. I couldn’t bring friends back to the room because there wasn’t enough room on my side. I am surprised that we never got into a physical fight. He had a big mouth, but couldn’t back it up. I bet he made a great zombie though. No shot he didn’t become one. It was just an extremely long year. I hope things aren’t going to be that bad with Crowley. Not sure what I would do.

June 17, 2020

City to the farm. Farming life is not easy. I always worried how it would be working 9 to 5 at a desk. This is crazy. Working all day in the sun is not for me. Good thing there is water here. Both for the plants and me. It is so quiet out here. Quiet in the city too but it’s a different quiet. All the work has me sleeping more than I have in a while. Kind of worries me. I don’t want a sneak attack by zombies while I’m out cold. Crowley doesn’t sleep much, and is always on the look out. Just not convinced he would warn me of an attack in time. Now that I think of it, I haven’t really prepared us for an attack. I’m going to do that now before I forget.

June 1, 2020

Alive to see another month begin. Unbelievable. No signs of any zombies yet. Just Farmer Max and Farmer Crowley and our peanuts. Finally got Crowley to talk. The more bored we get, the more he seems to talk. Just not when we are working. He takes that seriously. Not that interesting a guy, but a lucky one. He hasn’t been attacked by any zombies. He won’t talk about what happened to the others on the farm. Not sure if they were killed, or just left. Give him credit for staying here alone. Guess he is one of those people that refuse to leave home no matter what. I wonder if leaving home was the right thing for me to do. It was to go to college, not running away from zombies. That is still a form of running away. Ran away again after mom’s funeral. Didn’t realize until now I’m a runner. Run from zombies too. Run, run, run. 

May 24, 2020

I can’t resist any longer. That feeling of not having to write didn’t last long. Didn’t realize how attached I am to the journal. Plus, I had to get away from Crowley today. Sometimes he’s so quiet it creeps me out. He likes watching me work a lot too. Not sure what that is all about. At least he doesn’t give me orders. I didn’t realize a farm could produce so many peanuts. That seems to be the biggest thing Crowley has been growing. And they seem to last long too. I wish I could figure out how to make some peanut butter. It has been a steady diet of peanuts. I just keep going through all these bags of them. Some are still ok while others are bad. Not sure how long they have been here. There are some other trees but they are all dead, and Crowley doesn’t seem interested in messing with them. I guess they take more work to grow then he wants to deal with. I don’t know. This is the first time I have worked on a farm. Lots of first times happening in my life. Never thought I would be growing peanuts. So much for that college education. Oh well. Well. There is a well here too. The water actually tastes good. Life is not bad for now. Better go check on Crowley. He will stay out in the field forever if you let him. 

May 16, 2020

Now that I have Mr. Crowley to talk to, I don’t feel the need to write as much. He is cool, but quiet. So far so good. Lots of work to keep us busy. Still alive. 

May 7, 2020

Just had enough gas to get into Oklahoma. It was a walk from there. I felt like a camel dragging along a couple of those bags. It was a scary walk because it was nothing but road and fields. Nowhere to hide. As usual didn’t sleep much. I stopped at the first house I found. I approached with caution. Before I got up to the house, what did I find? The owner sitting in the field. It was odd, but he was actually working like nothing was going on. I tried talking to him, but he has turned out not to be much of a talker. He didn’t object to me staying with him as long as I did most of the work. I guess he was tired of maintaining the farm by himself for so long. That’s ok. As long as he doesn’t think I am a slave. Not going through that again. So I have unpacked some of those bags, and made myself comfortable. I am going to keep an eye on my new friend though. Hopefully we can work together.

April 25, 2020

On the road to Oklahoma. What a struggle. Zombies didn’t make it easy. They were all over the place. It was a game of hide and seek. A few got too close for comfort, but I was able to get away. One of them must have been a football player because it surprised the shit out of me, and tackled me. Usually I have some type of weapon with me, but not this time. It was just one on one. Until I pulled out one of my pens that was in my pocket instead of inside my bag. I was able to get it out, and stab that creature. The only place I could hit it was in the side of the head. Ended up barely pinning his earlobe to his head. Note- lucky to have the pen, but doesn’t make the best weapon. It did faze him enough to knock him off of me. Their skin is nasty. It almost melts off of them and onto you when you hit them. It was really hard struggling with it, and not swallowing any of the nastiness that was dripping off of it. Anyway I got to my feet, and then picked up a chair. I whacked him in the head, and then kicked him through the sliding glass door. Then I decided what a better time then now to run a little experiment. I hit him again with the chair, and used it to shove him into the dark pool. Sink or drown? It actually was doing a good doggy paddle like Jack used to do, but it never made it to the shallow end. And I thought the pool was nasty before the zombie fell in it. I usually stand by the theory that it is better to run away when I get the chance, but I thought it might come in handy to know if they can swim. So if I die, and you are reading this right now, try pushing them into water. I know it was just one of them, but maybe it will work on others. So back to the point. After that encounter, I moved down a few houses, and found this really old Expedition. Most people stopped using anything that wasn’t a hybrid after gas got too expensive. These owners stopped using it because they were dead. Apparently they were about to leave, but the zombies got to them first. A guy, or the left overs of a guy, was all around the door to the garage. A woman’s arm was hanging from the car’s door handle. That was the only thing of her remaining except for a trail of blood leading out a side door to the garage. They had bags in the back, which I just went through the other day. The bags were just a bonus. I wanted the car, and took it before another zombie surprised me. With the keys still in it, I took the Expedition, and I used my new map to find my way out of Texas. I should have enough gas to get me to Oklahoma, which is now only a few miles away. I really just wanted to write down where I’m going and look at everything I just wrote. It’s hard when there is no one to talk to but yourself. I always feel like I have heard that story before though. 

April 10, 2020

Got a map, but it would be more helpful if I knew where the hell I was. I think I found the general area. Never had a sense of direction. Now I can figure out where I’m going to go. Hopefully to a zombie free zone. I wrote Zombieville at the top of the map so that way I won’t forget where I’m really at. Grabbed more pens, and an extra map or 2, and I’m ready to move again. 

April 9, 2020

Nothing complicated about this plan. Get the hell out of dodge. I am still not feeling that great, but I am not staying here. Too many weird things going on. I am making progress. In another store, but closer to getting out of this business district, and into a residential area. I can’t find a car anywhere. Looks like a lot of people already got out of dodge. Sitting here, I’m looking around. I wonder how long this store was open?  They couldn’t have sold that much. Who the hell buys all these souvenirs? All this stuff with visit this state, visit that state. Go USA! There is no more USA. They would have been better off selling stuff with the United States of Zombies. Or United Zombie Nation. Even better Welcome to Zombieville! This may be the last thing you ever read! Too bad the zombies can’t buy anything. Maybe  Finally found a dam map. This place wasn’t as useless as I thought. 

April 6, 2020

Fucking zombies. Scared the shit out of me. Minding my own business looking for some birdseed to eat when they came running by. Probably chasing someone. I froze in that spot for probably an hour staring at the windows. I have the door secured, but they could come through the windows at anytime. Finally got the courage up to look outside. Thankfully no sign of them. This city obviously has too many zombies around. I need to get out of here. Time for a plan.

April 3, 2020

Rain! Oh how nice it is to see some rain. It has been a while since I have seen any rain. What good timing. This dog food is so dry, and there isn’t much to drink in here. I didn’t want to open the door, but I couldn’t resist. I put some of the dog bowls outside to collect water. I really wanted to go run in the rain and wash off, but I couldn’t risk it. It is hard to see, and hear them coming. Frank made that mistake. We were held up in this house when it started raining. Frank couldn’t help himself. He ran right out into the rain. It was all good for a while. So good that others were about to join him when all of the sudden he was gone. He never saw them coming. I don’t think anyone even heard a scream. That started a zombie frenzy. I guess they knew we were around there somewhere, but the rain was making it hard for them to find us. I don’t remember how we got out of there. I know it wasn’t until it stopped raining because I don’t remember running through the rain. Better off that I don’t remember. Too many bad memories already. This pet shop will be a bad memory for sure. 

April 2, 2020

God I miss Jack. I got him when I was about 8, 9, maybe 10. Somewhere around there. Whether it was for my birthday, or Christmas, I always asked for a dog. Mom seemed cool with it. She had several of them when she was growing up. Dad was more hesitate. He wanted to wait until he thought I would be responsible for it. I guess he knew he would end up taking the dog for walks all the time. He was right, but he eventually loved it. He went running with Jack on weekends all the time. I was the happiest kid on the planet when my mom opened the box, and this little black creature started barking. I wanted to name him Pirate, but my mom said I was pushing my luck with that name. So instead I named him Jack after my favorite pirate. I loved kicking the ball around in the backyard, and watching Jack run after it trying to bite it. Then there was tug-of-war with the dog bones. Amazing how aggressive he could be with the bone, but no matter how close I put my hand to his mouth, he never bit me. He wouldn’t harm any of us, but he would fight to the death for us. That is why we couldn’t let him go. My parents knew it would kill me if they put Jack asleep. I know it was a tough decision for many families. I don’t know how they lived with getting rid of their dogs. It is like getting rid of a family member. A lot of people were getting sick, so I guess they did what they had to do. My dad said as long as none of us showed signs of getting sick, we would stick it out. Really sucks for the people that put their dogs to sleep, and then saw that a vaccine came out in only about a year’s time. I am sure those people were pissed. Once the vaccine came out, mom made sure that the entire family got it. Unfortunately, maybe fortunately, I could not get it. Apparently there was something in it that the doctor said I couldn’t have. I think dad still wanted me to get it, but mom said, “If the doc says no, then no.” Too bad the doc didn’t say no for all the vaccines. Mom, dad, and Violet all got the vaccine. I heard that there was something wrong with vaccines. At least that is how I understand it to have happened. I never really understood any of that science stuff. Oh man, my stomach hurts again. Damn dog food. I think it is time for someone to take me for a walk. 

April 1, 2020

Isn’t April 1^st April Fools Day? I wish someone was fooling me right now, and all of this would end. I didn’t get too far. Only a couple of blocks down. I started feeling sick again. The headaches have restarted. Damn do they hurt. It is always from the lack of sleep, and food. I am now in a pet shop, and it smells like shit. It has been a long time since I have seen any animals, but this definitely is not the way you want to see them. There are dead dogs and cats in some of the cages. Unfiltered fish tanks. A dead body decaying in the storage room. To top it off, I forced myself to eat some of the dog food. I had to eat something before my head exploded. I don’t know if it tastes that horrible because it is that bad, or because it is old and stale. No wonder why Jack never wanted to eat. This is no joke, this is a nightmare!

Mar. 26, 2020

I am writing to note that I am moving on. There is nothing else for me in this store, and I need to go look for more food. I am very concerned about those zombies. I have no clue what is going on out there. There have been many times that I thought the zombies didn’t know I was there only to find out that they were actually following me. I need to move as quickly as possible. Here I go again. 

Mar. 24, 2020

I spent all day yesterday on the look out for zombies. I’m kind of afraid to move from here since that massacre the other day. I don’t know where all those zombies went. As I stared outside, I was thinking about what my world should be like. I should have graduated from college. I should have a job. I should be hitting the bars looking for girls. I should be spending Sunday’s watching football. I should be able to go home and visit the family. I should be able to go to the movies on the weekends with my friends. I should be able to sit down to a nice hot meal. I should be able to take a nice long bath. I should be able to go to the store, and buy some new clothes. I should be able to use the bathroom like a normal person. I should I should I should! It is so frustrating knowing what should have been. 

Mar. 22, 2020

It finally happened. A zombie attack. Thankfully not on me, but I was a lot closer than I wanted to be. I just woke up from a nap when I heard some screams. Nights are always more dangerous than days. I was lucky not to get caught napping. I crawled over to the window and looked out. This apartment building was raided by zombies. They apparently went through the windows. The screams were horrible. A couple of people made it out, and were being chased of course. One started in my direction, but was tackled before getting here. I got an up close look at the zombies ripping this person apart. I am not sure how they decide when to kill someone, or just wound them leading them to becoming a fellow zombie. Well, this person wasn’t going to be a zombie. They tore his legs off. One of his arms. Just biting and biting into him. Blood was pouring out. Pieces of him scattered all over the place. Not sure why they didn’t pick up my smell. Maybe because I haven’t taken a shower in a long time. Also I was going through the garbage in the morning. Garbage seems to work I guess. The zombies seemed like they got everyone because most of them strolled slowly out after the screams stopped. Not sure if those few others that made it out found safety. The way the people are around here, I doubt anyone helped them. Not that I helped either. I stayed on the look out for the rest of the night. The zombies just kind of roamed around. I am not sure what they were doing. So many of them were covered in blood. Clothes barely still attached to them. Many of them wounded. Probably how they became zombies in the first place. Sometimes you can tell the difference between the people that became zombies from being attacked, and the people that became zombies from the vaccine. I am not sure, but the ones that were attacked seem to be more aggressive. I think

Mar. 17, 2020

Saw some people today. Went up to this building’s door and tried to open it. They freaked out and started yelling. Once they realized I wasn’t a zombie, the craziness turned to anger. They cursed at me, and told me to get lost. They weren’t taking in any more strays. Think someone pulled a gun too, but I wasn’t going to stick around to find out. I have had enough of guns to last a lifetime. Still feel eyes watching me. I guess they aren’t so friendly around here either. What ever happened to people helping people? Oh well, I’m one to talk. I am happy to be by myself for now. Just me and my journal. 

Mar. 15, 2020

Scored some loot today. Found old cereal as usual. Nasty old chips which will cause more stomach problems than usual. Plenty of soda. Guess people couldn’t drink warm soda. You can’t really be too picky. Got to eat.

Mar. 14, 2020

Still roaming. Nothing else exciting happening. 

Mar. 13, 2020

No home yet. Dangerously staying in stores. Roaming streets. I can feel eyes watching me as I walk around. I am taking it slow. I don’t want to fall victim to any more crazy people. No zombie sightings yet, but I am getting that feeling again. It is only a matter of time. There are people around, and they are staying hidden for a reason. Back on the look out now.

Mar. 11, 2020

Finally back to a city. Glad I got past all those damn little towns. I don’t know what is crazier, dealing with zombies or those insane hunters. Hopefully that will remain a thing of the past. Now I need to find out how safe it is here. So far my experiences have told me that big cities equal lots of zombies. There are usually people hiding somewhere too. I am realizing that the longer the world remains like this, the more desperate people are becoming. I guess supplies and food are starting to disappear, or people are just getting anxious about it. Maybe I can make a home here for at least a little while. I am not sure if I should go back to trying to stay in one place as long as possible, or just keep moving. I guess I will just see what this city tells me to do. 

Mar. 4, 2020

I drove as far as that car would take me, and then I found the next, and the next, and the next. I don’t think anyone followed me. It was like I broke out of jail. I tried to take a route that they hadn’t gone down, but I knew I wasn’t safe until I found areas that weren’t cleaned out. I finally found some stuff to eat and drink, and get me on the way. I have no idea what I left behind. If anyone survived, I’m sure they would hunt me down just like they hunted those zombies. I can’t look back now, I just have to move forward or everything I did will be for nothing. I wish I knew what was going on out there in the world. Radios and TVs don’t work. Phones neither. I try when I find them, but no luck. The last time I saw TV was a news piece at a hospital. It started off well, but then went horribly wrong. The reporter was interviewing a guy in bed when all of the sudden a guy came flying out from the curtain behind them, and jumped on the guy. He started biting and clawing at him. The reporter tried to be brave and jump in there to save him, but that was a mistake. The reporter got thrown off the bed, and he slammed his head against the side of the table. Probably broke his neck. What I never understood was why the cameraman kept shooting. Or why they kept showing the craziness. They didn’t stop until the zombie apparently took out the cameraman. The last thing I saw was a view from the camera on the floor shooting the feet of the zombie running into the hallway. I heard one last scream, but they went back to the studio. Wow, those were two stunned newscasters. For once, they didn’t know what to say. Like me sometimes. Being all alone. Sometimes there is nothing to say. I just stare at the wall, at the sky, or into the distance. Nothing to say, do, or think. Sometimes nothing to even write about. I just stare at the page. Or sometimes I just try not to think about all the horrible things that have happened. 

Mar. 2, 2020

Oh it is good to be back writing, and thinking freely. Hell to be free again. I wasn’t having any of that waiting on the hunters day and night shit. Knocking me out, and treating me like crap wasn’t going to get my loyalty. Thought I was stupid too, but I quickly figured them out. At first, I really thought they let me keep the journal because they didn’t care, or need it. Turned out they let me keep it to keep track of what I was thinking. Not surprising, they were always so paranoid. It wasn’t long before I figured out someone was reading my journal. I think they did it mostly at feeding time, and I think it was my asshole guard too. After leading me to the feeding place, he would always quickly disappear, and soon came back like he was in a hurry. Stupid bastard wasn’t a good actor. And maybe it would have been nice if someone told him that if you pick up something that you aren’t suppose to touch, you should put it back the same way you found it. So I wasn’t sure what my plan would be at first, but I decided to start writing more positive things about them. I thought the quickest way to show them I was on their side was to join the zombie-bashing club. Then I had to find a specific person who would trust me enough for me to get a little information from, and so that I could plant ideas in their heads. I actually feel a little, just a little sorry for Joe Malone. He wasn’t the worst of the bunch. He had an honest reason for hating the zombies so much. He saw them kill his wife, turn his little girl into a zombie, and then watch his best friend have to shoot her. Sorry again Joe. Back to the point. So I wrote that I wanted to hunt with them. To show I wanted to be one of them. I tried to be a good little gatherer. Did what they said, and caused no problems. Actually, I got lucky when they started fighting about leaving, and then luckier when poor Chuck basically killed himself. I kind of had the plan, but I just needed the right moment. Plus, it was an experiment that I wasn’t sure would work. I have faced death so many times already, what was one more time. Ha… I can’t lie to myself even in this journal. I was scared to death. I don’t want to die. The plan was this. With my added questions about whether to leave or not, it at least distracted my guard. He was obviously doing more thinking than usual. On the right night, I was able to sneak out of the house. I had hidden a couple of towels from when we washed down the cars that were filled with zombie blood. I left them in water so that someone could drink the blood. God I really didn’t know if this would work. I grabbed them, and took them to the young woman. Yea, what a risk after Chuck got killed. They would have killed me for sure. Without a second thought if they found me. Too bad they were having another argument that night. Plus, I noticed that they had let their guard down after killing Chuck. They didn’t think someone as stupid as I am would dare try to go near her. Wow, she was even more used and abused then I imagined. Poor lady, they really did a number on her. I didn’t have long so I asked her if she was ready to die. She didn’t say anything at first, but I could tell I put a little life in her right before I was about to take it away. Even more enlightenment when I mentioned a chance to get back at the hunters. I told her I needed her to drink this water that had zombie blood in it. Hopefully, the blood would still be good enough to turn her into a zombie. I wasn’t sure if it worked this way, or even how long this would take. I just told her to hold it in as long as possible, and then let the rage out on them. Most importantly, try to infect them as well. I am not sure she understood anything except for the dying and revenge part. I carefully approached her, but left the water just in front of her. I was really scared she may have screamed and that would have been the end of me. I backed away, ready to leave as soon as she took a sip. It took her a minute or two, but then she went right after it. Sucked it right down. I then snuck over to the gun house. I found some extra locks one day, so I hid them in the supply room. I did lots of hiding stuff, kind of like a squirrel hides nuts for the winter, weird. So I got the locks, and added them to the locks that were already on the gunroom’s door. I knew that they could still shoot it open, but the point was to slow them down. Then it was back to the house, where once again I had hid something in a special spot for me, a gun. I had it buried in the back yard. They weren’t as paranoid as they should have been. They checked the houses, but never really the yards. So I took it upstairs and waited to see if anything would happen. It seemed like forever. If this didn’t work, I would have had to come up with a different plan. One that would have been harder to pull off. I was thinking something like a gatherer rebellion. Probably a sucky plan. A death wish. Wow, I don’t know what is harder, pulling off the plan, or now writing about it. Had to take a break for a second. So I heard the arguing finally stop, and I saw someone head for the woman’s house. Oh, I was getting ready for it. So ready, I almost shot off the gun by accident. I waited and waited. What was going on in there, I will never know. Then it was go time. Out stumbled the guy. He fell to the floor motionless for a minute. No one noticed. Then he got up, and paused for a second. Oh yea, he was a zombie. He just needed to shake off the change. He did, and off he went. He ran over to another house where he took another hunter by surprise. It started off well, but what happened to the woman? She still hadn’t come out. I wasn’t sure if he killed her at some point. Looking for the woman I lost track of the zombie. Panic was starting to set in. I was starting to lose control of the plan. Then I heard some commotion, and my guard ran from the house. I just had to be patient and wait for the right time. I can’t believe I was that patient after all. I remember all the sweat that was dripping from my forehead. So I heard some gunshots. I was hoping they hadn’t killed all the zombies yet. I smashed my window open, and then began yelling “zombies at the front gate” just as some hunters were about to run to the back. I had to keep them separated. They turned around and ran to the front, and that was when I ran out the house. I went right for some of the other gathers homes. I banged on their doors, and yelled for them to come out because the hunters needed them. I told them to head for the feeding area. Too bad, it was them that were going to be the food this time. As they headed over there, out came one of the hunters turned zombies, and it was feeding time. It was full on chaos. Just what I wanted, but I had to be ready in case I ran into a zombie. All the hunters were running around not sure what to do. They saw gatherers running around, and zombies killing their friends. I ran into two of them, and I said this is why we should have left. This confused them, and they almost were going to start arguing with me right then. It was kind of funny for a second, but only a second. One of them pulled his gun, and I thought he was just going shoot me right there. Out smarting them again, I yelled “Zombie!” I was gone before they could turn back around. I thought I was in a war zone. All of the sudden gunshot after gunshot was all I heard. Time was running out for me to get out of there, but I needed one last distraction. I went to the fuel truck, and set it on fire. Now it was time to go. I jumped in one of the cars, and hit full speed. I couldn’t worry about who I saw on the way out, I just had to drive. And drive even if I had to go right through them. Kind of reminded me of all the road kill I used to see back home. In a way I feel bad, but I did what I have done all along, and that is do what is necessary to survive.

Jan. 16, 2020

One of the other gathers told me that curiosity got the best of Chuck. He had always wanted to know more about the forbidden girl. They said he was going a little crazy anyway. I don’t blame him, it is pretty easy to go crazy around here. Still no one is sure what exactly he did before getting shot to death. Joe has told me a lot of things, but he refuses to talk about this. I think he knows the party is over. I can see the worry in him. Things were good for the hunters for a while, but change is coming. One thing I have learned all this time is to expect the unexpected.

Jan. 13, 2020

So gatherer Chuck got to close to the hunter’s beloved woman. Details were few, but apparently the hunters didn’t like what they saw so they shot him on spot. Couldn’t have been good. All gatherers are told from the beginning to stay away from the 2 women. Maybe he wanted a way out of this world, and knew they would kill him. How he got to her I don’t know. They are usually pretty good of at least keeping her away from us gatherers. Joe said that this couldn’t have come at a worse time because tension is already high. They sat all the gatherers down and made sure we all knew the rules again. They didn’t say death was your punishment, but I think most of us got the point. I think this community is cracking. 

Jan 10, 2020

It has been almost a week now, and I guess the decision is to stay for now. Vacation is over. We are back to work as usual, but I know something is still going on that I don’t know about. The hunters aren’t in their same frame of mind. I noticed some of them are not talking with each other, or at least less than usual. Feeding time as been quiet. Joe hasn’t told me much besides that they really haven’t decided. I told him I know it is a hard decision, but I am sure they will make the right one. I also told him I am still looking forward to going hunting, and he looked at me funny. I guess any thoughts of leaving the grounds for any reason is a touchy subject. Things will get interesting when supplies get low, which should be soon. It has been almost a month since the last supply run. My bet is anyone who supported leaving will not go. I wish I knew how

Holy shit! A gunshot just went off, and I ran outside to see what was happening. As soon as I got outside I heard all this yelling, and screaming. I didn’t get too far before they started yelling to get all the gatherers back inside the houses. My asshole guard took a good whack at me because he thought I was moving too slow. I just looked outside the window, and there still is a bunch of chaos going on. I can’t really hear anything. I wonder if this has anything to do with this whole leaving or staying situation. Maybe it was a zombie, but I doubt it. There would have been more shots for sure. Never a dull moment around here lately.

Jan. 4, 2020

I guess they had some of the same questions I did because last night they had a meeting of the minds. They probably had to let everything get out into the open. They are smart, they have to have an open discussion about this before it divides them. I have no idea what they decided. Again, we just got to eat, and then returned to the houses. It is almost like we are on vacation. A paid holiday. It is their decision. The gatherers aren’t going to get a say. Oh well! 

Jan. 3, 2020

Guess there is still some tension out there because they didn’t let us leave our houses today except for a quick bite to eat. Things were quiet out there. I watched out the window from time to time, but there was not a lot of action going on. The ones that guarded gatherers just guarded. The ones that patrolled the grounds just patrolled. The rest of them just did their own thing. Looks like a lot of thinking was going on. I wonder what Joe thinks.

I think he likes the arrangements enough to want to stay. On the other hand, he is smart enough to know that we can’t stay here forever. It depends how much hope you have. If this craziness ends tomorrow, then we are fine. If this madness goes on for a year, even months, it will become harder to stay. Where would we go? Would we all go?  Would we all go together or separate? How would they decide who gets what? Could we move everything that we would need to survive? Actually, they would have to take us gathers. Who else would pack all this shit up? Who else would do all the heavy lifting? 

Jan. 2, 2020

Wow, last night one of the hunters gave this huge speech about the New Year, and how things need to change. This sparked a crazy argument about what the hunters want to do next. Everyone had an opinion. Some thought everything was good, and were fine staying. Others were talking about a need to move on. They mentioned how they had to go further and further out to find food and supplies. They need to make a decision before they use up all the gas that they have found. Then there is the question about where to go. The people that want to leave all have their own ideas on where they want to go. Things got so heated that they sent us gatherers away. I guess they didn’t want us to see any weakness in them. It is a hard decision. Whenever I had to make the call, it was always to leave. Some places were great to stay at, but eventually all your resources run out, and the zombies catch up to you. It will become harder to stay here, but I think they will decide to stay for now. What a way to ring in the New Year! 

Dec. 26, 2019

Christmas. Some people seem like they don’t care, but it has to bother them. How could you not miss Christmas? Your family? Even presents! This really sucks. Depressed all over again. Remembering my last Christmas at home. Always good to be home from school, and to take a break. To see how much trouble Violet has got into. Mom making a feast for all of us. Family in from out of town. Catch up talking football with dad. Such a happy time. Nothing but the doldrums now. No home, no family, no presents, no Christmas lights…nothing. Alone on Christmas again with New Years around the corner. 

Dec. 15, 2019

Not much going on. Just doing the gatherer thing. Joe is not sure when they are going out again. I asked him about the zombies they killed in some of those other towns. He said most of them were there when they got there. There usually weren’t many people still alive in any of the towns. They do enjoy killing them, but he said they usually tried to kill as many as they could so that they could look for supplies safely. That makes sense. At first, they didn’t touch them, but after a while they decided to make an example of them. Still not totally sure why. I think it had to do with people like me that came to the towns. I think it was like their hunting trophies. Probably like when they used to kill deer, and hang the heads on their walls. I wonder if they have any zombie heads in any of the houses. Interesting. Disgusting! 

Dec. 9, 2019

Still disappointed. Wanted to write yesterday, but couldn’t. Didn’t see one zombie. Not one out there. I ended up just working. Carrying their stuff. Handing out food and water. Just work. Don’t know when they will go out again. Hopefully that wasn’t my only chance to kill a zombie. Just going to keep close to Joe. He will let me know. I will have to make sure he knows I still want to kill some zombies. 

Dec. 8, 2019

Disappointed! 

Dec. 1, 2019

I am going, but I think I am going as one of the few gathers they bring along. So I am still a gather. That is fine. Hopefully I will get a shot at some zombies. Joe told me it would be an important trip because they are going to look for another gas truck. One of the hunters knows a place where they have some trucks, and gas. Abandoned of course. That is where they got their current truck. I was wondering where they got it. Thought they got lucky, but I guess not. Maybe these guys are smarter than I thought. I am excited. Tonight we pack, and tomorrow we leave. Not like going to the lake for the summer. Not sure how long this will take. 

Nov. 25, 2019

Gather no more. I’m hunting some zombies. After days of begging, they said I could go. They didn’t promise a gun or anything, but I will find a way to take out my frustrations. I’m not sure when we are going, but hopefully it will be soon. I can’t hold this anger in much longer. 

Nov. 20, 2019

Thinking and thinking. Reading over my entries to see if I really mean this. I think I do. I think I can do it. What do I have to lose? Forget this, I am going to ask. Maybe Joe will let me go on the next trip. I am going to ask right now. I am He said he would see what he could do. I am not sure he totally trusts me yet. I don’t care. I think it is time to find some zombies to kill. Those damn bastards. Killing everyone. Screw them. They better let me go. 

Nov. 12, 2019

Still thinking I could kill zombies. I have killed them before. Yea, it was for survival, but wouldn’t this be for survival too? The hunters are just being on the offensive. I have been playing defense all this time. Hell, if we don’t go after them, they will just come after us. I was talking with Joe, and he said no zombies have attacked this place since he has been here. I think that is because they go out, and kill them before they can get anywhere near here. I have been seriously thinking about asking Joe if I can go hunting with them. Can I do it?

Nov. 10, 2019

Still in a bad mood. Birthday has brought up too many memories. I just keep thinking of all my birthdays. I have been reading the end of my Nov. 3 journal entry over and over, and have been seriously thinking about it. I do hate the zombies. I owe them nothing. Why am I hesitant about killing them? Maybe the hunters have got it right after all. I know I said I wasn’t into hunting the zombies, but maybe I should be. I am so mad I actually feel like killing some zombies. The hunters kill for fun, but I feel like getting some revenge. Who are these zombies to me anyway? They just ruined everything. Everyone’s lives!

Nov. 6, 2019

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! No, I am not really that excited. I have been singing that in my head all day. Made a point to write something today. Just wanted to at least make note of my birthday. My first birthday as a hostage. Would they let me go as a present? No, I’m not telling anyone. None of their business. They wouldn’t care anyway. The only people that would care are God knows where. Haven’t talked to family in what feels like decades. The last time I saw them was not a great time. We just buried mom. She died because of that worthless vaccine that caused this mess. She was   I can’t write about this. Just another unhappy b-day.

Nov. 3, 2019

There was a lot of work today. Some of the hunters just came back from a trip with more supplies. We had to put it all away as they watched closely. They wouldn’t want any of us to steal their loot even though we are supposed to be sharing. They apparently found a gun shop because they came back with rounds and rounds of bullets, and a bunch of new guns. They put that stuff away. Gathers don’t touch guns is the rule. We had to wipe down the trucks. Clean the dirt and blood off. It looked like they ran over some zombies. A good thing about the trips is that the hunters generally come back happy. I think as long as they got to kill some zombies, they were good. To celebrate, we had a bigger than usual dinner that was prepared by the older woman. I took the opportunity to try to make friends with one of the hunters. All of them are giant asses, but I think I found the one guy that has a little decency left in him somewhere. I wasn’t too pushy. I think I picked a good question to start the conversation. I asked how many zombies he had killed so far. That got him talking. We shared some zombie killing stories. I made up a few stories to show him that I hated the zombies as much as they did. I do hate them. I am just not into the whole hunting them thing. 

Oct. 29, 2019

Every once in a while, the hunters decide on who is going on the next hunting trip. That was what they were doing when they found me. They go out looking for food, and supplies, but I think they are really looking for zombies to hunt. After all, they are the ones that killed all those zombies I saw in those towns, and had fun hanging them up like Christmas ornaments. They usually will take a couple of gathers with them. I am sure that is bundles of fun. I haven’t decided if staying here or not is the best thing. I am not sure how long this whole set up will last, or how I feel about basically being a hostage here. 

Oct. 22, 2019

There are about 30 people here. About 20 of them are the hunters, and the rest are gathers including me. The hunters take turns guarding the fort. They station a couple of people at the entrance while others patrol the grounds. There are always a few keeping track of the gathers. We aren’t free to just do whatever we want. If we are not working, we have to be in our homes. They don’t let us socialize too much. I think they are afraid we would form a coup. It is hard to socialize anyway. After everything all of us have gone through, it is hard to talk about sometimes. Much easier to write it down. Anyway, what is there to say? “Hey did you catch that game last night? How are the kids? Did you get that job?” Plus it is awkward when you are being watched over by guys with guns. I almost forgot. There are also 2 women here. You would forget them because the hunters keep them away from the rest of us. One is an older woman who does a lot of the cooking when there is something to cook. The other is a woman who I would say is in her late 20’s. Never been good at guessing ages. The few times I actually saw her, she looked like she went 12 rounds with the devil. I am pretty sure the hunters have abused and raped her. I think if you gave her the choice of staying here or running into a pack of zombies, I think she would choose the zombies. There will never be normal for her again. It is sad, but it shows me things could be worse.

Oct. 16, 2019

So I made my complaints about being here and I can’t say I’m totally happy, but there are some good things. My headache has gone away. I think it is a combination of eating more regularly, and finally getting some good sleep. I can sleep more easily in this protected atmosphere. I still get the nightmares from time to time, but they are going away too. I wanted things to go back to normal, and this is probably as normal as it is going to get for a while. I am not sure how long these people have been here, but they

Oct. 13, 2019

This is the first time in a long time I have been able to write. Hopefully, they don’t find me doing it either. After the last writing I was looking for another car when someone knocked me out. I woke up being hosed down in a shower. I think they were making sure I had not been bitten, or scratched up by a zombie. Surprised those bastards didn’t rape me. I have been taken in by a group of crazy ex-cops, ex-military, and gun loving white people who probably went hunting every weekend. They have turned this small-gated community into their private civil war fort. They probably have had dreams of doing this for years, and finally got the opportunity. They play defend the fort while they make everyone else cook, clean, store supplies, and anything else they can think of to keep us busy. I wonder if this is similar to the days of the hunters and gathers. Can’t believe I am a gather. Everyone gets their own small portion of the food, and supplies, but only the trusted get the guns. They took the little medicine, and water I had with me. My journal was the only thing they let me keep because no one had a use for it that wasn’t named Max. It would be hard for them to read or write, if they could, with their hands glued to their guns. I will be honest... I am a gather.

Aug. 24, 2019

I had to take a break from writing until I found some medicine. I could barely think. I even broke my rule against going out at night, but I had to move on to the next town to find medicine. Plus, there are no signs of life anywhere. Just dead bodies on poles, hung from trees, placed in front of doors, and in piles burnt to death. I know I am getting myself in trouble, but I have nowhere else to go. I took the rare opportunity to actually look at some of the dead zombies. It was not easy because they smell even worse dead than alive. Their skin looks kind of like melted cheese. I wonder why? I have avoided touching them whenever possible, but I have gotten closer than I wanted too. I don’t think I actually touched one, or at least that is what I prefer to think. They seem to bleed easily. Drool it sometimes. You could tell that some of them were probably dragged to their current resting spot. There are different trails of blood everywhere. Their eyes are also bloody. Very red. I used a stick to open some of their eyes lids. I popped one out by accident. Blood rushed out. Disgusting. I don’t have much of a stomach for that. On to other things, supplies in these towns are getting less and less. The military or whoever came through here killed everyone, and took everything they could use. Including the medicine. I got lucky and found a stash someone was hiding in their home. Probably hid it because it is some strong stuff. I had my best night of sleep in a long time last night. The nightmares couldn’t wake me this time.

Aug. 11, 2019

Should I go back? Should I try a different route? I should look for a map. Maybe I could figure out where I am. I can’t find a map anywhere. I guess these people all knew where they were, and had no plans to go anywhere. Or the ones that left took all the damn maps with them. More reason for my head to hurt.

Aug. 10, 2019

Everyone used to complain about $8.00 gas. I wish I could get some now. Can’t find a car that will get me anywhere. All I do is jump from one to another. That last one didn’t even get me to the next town. I had to walk the last couple of miles in this heat. I drank most of my water just to make it here. And the heat makes dead bodies reek. This town is a little different because there are bodies tied to poles, and placed around the entrance to town. Almost like a warning or something. I am getting another bad feeling about this. If they were the military, why would they do that? I don’t think the zombies would know what to make of that. Unless the military knows something I don’t. Maybe there are some smarter zombies. No, couldn’t be. I wish I could find some weapons. Just in case.

Aug. 6, 2019

I had just enough gas to make it to the next town. Not much in between. This town is a lot like the last. A few homes with everything you need in the center of town. More dead people/zombies. I took a closer look at some of them, and it appears they were shot to death. Some had more than enough bullets in them. Maybe the military came through here. I hope I didn’t miss a chance at being saved. Maybe this will all be over soon. To get back to normal. At least as close to normal as can be after this mess. Mess is too light a word. This disaster! This catastrophe! This tragedy! This limited vocabulary I have with this headache. I still can’t sleep much. Too worried. And when I do, I wake up to the screams of people dying. The sun is about to set. Better find a place to hide.

Aug. 4, 2019

My mom was the one that did the grocery shopping in the family. On occasion, I would be sent to get a few things, and I hated it. There were always so many people. Well, turn everyone into zombies and no more lines. I have this drugstore all to myself. Eating some dry cereal right now. It seems to last a long time, but still tastes stale. Needs some milk. Don’t think too many zombies are going to go milk the cows. Got some medicine for this headache too. I always wondered what would happen if you took expired medicine. I guess I will find out soon. Looks like I am going to load up on cereal and drugs, and find some transportation out of here. 

Aug. 3, 2019

I guess I have made it out of the city and into the world of small towns. There is not much here. There were some small homes I passed on the way into town, and no signs of life anywhere. As I got to the center of town, I saw a few dead bodies here and there. It is too hard to tell if they were zombies, or people that were killed by zombies. I am still not sure why some people apparently become zombies and others don’t. I don’t stick around when zombies are attacking. Run, run, run because these aren’t the typical zombies I used to see in horror movies. Horror movies. I guess I am the star of my own horror movie right now. Zombies, who would have thought that could ever happen. I am not a huge horror fan, and never will be if the world ever gets back to normal. Don’t remember what the last zombie movie I saw was. I miss going to the movies. I hope I am the hero of this story. Actually, I don’t remember too many people surviving in zombie movies. Damn! This can’t get much more depressing. There is no one here, but it is not a secure place to stay. Maybe that is why no one is here. A hurricane of zombies probably came right through here. Did their damage and moved on. 

July 24, 2019

I am a genius. I fell asleep while driving, and drove into a ditch. Luck is still with me because I survived that too. It would have sucked to have survived all these zombie attacks, and then die from crashing the car. I could have done that in a normal world. Not sure if it is lucky to still be alive though. I know my luck will eventually run out, that is if the zombie’s doesn’t first. Like with this guy I met about a year ago named Jedrus Gorski. He was a prison warden or a deputy warden. At least that is what I think it said on his badge. He said he had worked there over 15 years, and thought he saw everything an inmate could do. Stabbing guys in the eyes, slitting throats, broken bones, gang riots, and other nasty stuff I wish he hadn’t mentioned. With all his experience and training, he was not prepared for inmates to become zombies. He thought it all started from a bunch of inmates that had been recently transferred to his prison. He had a bad feeling about them from the start. The prisoners were there probably a couple of weeks before they all started getting sick and then died. Only in riots had he ever had so many prisoners die in such a short time span. Before the bodies could be removed from the prison, all hell broke loose. Gorski said he signed the paperwork and saw them store the bodies, but he got the shock of his life when he saw one of the prisoners leaning over one of his guards biting into his stomach. Before he knew it, several of the other supposedly dead prisoners appeared, and charged at him. He said he unloaded every round of ammunition he had into them just to escape. The prison was put on lock down, but that did not stop the now zombie prisoners. They were killing people all over the place. Gorski said the dead people were coming back to life, and killing people too. That was the first time I had heard of anyone who was killed by a zombie coming back to life. I thought it was just the people who were vaccinated. He was in a difficult situation. He didn’t want to just let all the prisoners run free, but he also did not know how to stop the madness. Apparently he waited too long because the prison had become a maze of zombies and locked doors. You didn’t want to end up at a dead end. Most of his guards were killed, and were now zombies too. Some prisoners were locked in their cells, and refused to come out. I guess they weren’t so tough after all. They radioed for help, but it never arrived. I bet it was because someone probably mentioned dead people coming back to life, and killing people. Early in all this craziness, that was hard to believe, but not anymore. His 15 years of dedication to keeping a safe and functional prison went out the window. Finally, two guards and himself gathered all of the guns they could, and made their way towards a special emergency exit that only he knew of. After much blood shed, he was the only one lucky enough to make it out. I find it funny that the warden turned out to be the one that had to break out of prison, but Gorski did not find that funny at all. He looked like he wanted to shoot me when I told him that. The man loved his job I guess. It was quite the story. I think he told it to me 5 or 6 times with different details each time, which was good because sometimes I couldn’t understand that accent of his. I was also lucky to have him fight by my side for a while. He learned a lot of tricks from being at that prison, but his luck finally ran out. One night, the person on look out fell asleep, and zombies ambushed us. I just remember hearing all this screaming, and then taking off, but not Gorski. He was a brave leader to the end as he tried to save others in the group. While running away, I glanced back to see a zombie on his back. It looked like it may have had his ear in its mouth. Another one was hanging onto his leg, with others running right at him. He survived the prison, but not the changing world. If it wasn’t for Gorski, I may not be alive right now. I guess he passed his luck onto me. I’m going to need it to walk into town now. One last nap, and then I’m off. Man does my head hurt.

July 23, 2019

I led them right to those people. They told me to go away, but it was too late. Those zombies probably killed them all. I knew I should have just left. They didn’t want me there. Told me to leave the second I got up there. Before I knew it, I heard them coming. Racing up the stairs again. They heard them too, and refused to let me in their penthouse apartment. I hate to say it, but lucky me. If they let me in, I wouldn’t be writing right now. It was scary though. I didn’t know what to do at first. I went down a floor and checked the other stairwell, but they were in there too. I didn’t want to go in the open apartment and get trapped there. The only other place to go was the garbage chute room. By the time I opened the door to investigate, I heard them enter the hallway so I was stuck. The only place to go was in the chute. It was hard to get through the hole. I wedged Louis up against the room’s door to buy me some time to get in the hole, and that probably saved me. It didn’t take long for the zombies to pick up my scent. They were banging up against the door, and I heard them finally open it. After that, I just heard them scratching the walls. I knew they would not be able to open the chute door. I braced myself because I did not want to slide to the bottom, and get stuck there. Some time passed and then I heard the screams. The same screams I have been hearing in my nightmares since. The zombies must have busted their door down or something. I thought they were well defended, but I think there ended up being too many of them. That is when I slowly slid down the chute. I don’t remember what floor I got out at. I just keep thinking about those people. All dead because of me. I think those were the zombies I was hiding from before. That was what they were doing. They knew there were people around somewhere, and I probably led them right to the people. I thought I covered my scent. I don’t know. The zombies are so persistent. After I got out of the building, I just ran. When I thought I ran far enough, I ran some more. Good reason because I was being followed. It was not long before I was fighting off zombies myself. Running and shooting. Used up all my bullets, and lost several knives. I’m in bad shape now. I have got to find some food, and more weapons. I searched several houses until I finally found a car and some car keys. It was not easy knowing any minute they would be coming in through the windows. I finally got this old truck to start up. I drove as far out of that area as I could. Problem is, I keep getting further and further away from anywhere I am familiar with. I am a North Carolina boy suck somewhere in the middle of Texas. I am not sure where I am, and even where I should go. I need to find another town soon because I am almost out gas. Between the nightmares and my nervousness, it is hard to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time, but all this writing is making me tired. Good because I need to sleep. I am surprised that I am even making sense at this point. At least I got a truck where I can lay out instead of one of those small environmentally friendly cars. A lot of good they did. Who cares about the environment now? The only pollution that matters is the zombies. If we could only get rid of them. Why can’t we get rid of them? Why? They just keep coming! They just keep killing! Why? Why? Why?