Sept. 7, 2020

Why the nightmares? Those girls are still on my mind. They actually got their revenge last night. I was stuck. Couldn’t move for some reason. The one girl said, “How does it feel not being able to walk?” Then the other said, “forget not walking, he’s about to feel death!” I tried to tell them I didn’t kill them, but they just laughed. Then one jumped on me and bit into my neck, while the other went for my leg. Just before I woke up I had the feeling my mom was in the background with a grin on her face. I wish I could control when I wake up. Still not sure why mom keeps appearing in my dreams. Maybe my guilt is still inside me somewhere. Even with all this bullshit going on, I blame myself. I don’t know what I can do to fix things. Is there anything to fix? I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere. No one to talk to. No one to get advice from. I just have to keep moving. There has to be someone out there. No way in hell I’m the last man standing.